ally and figuratively, for in the graceful swing of
his gestures, he turned over a goblet of water in my lap [laughter], I
felt very much as the little boy did who had stood at the head of his
spelling-class for three weeks, and then was stumped by the word
kaleidoscope. He thought for a moment or two, and then seriously said,
"he didn't believe there was a boy on earth who could spell it." I did
not believe, after Colonel Fellows finished, that there was another man
on earth who could follow him. [Applause.]

Mr. Chairman, in the course of my experience I never knew of but one
absolutely straight tip in Wall Street. To that, you and this Society
are perfectly welcome. If you act on it, I will cheerfully guarantee you
against loss, without exacting that you shall divide with me the
profits. It is a point that the late Mr. Travers gave our friend Henry
Grady. [Laughter.] They had been to attend a national convention at
Chicago, and on returning were seriously disappointed because of the
failure to have nominated their chosen candidate. As they came across
the ferry in the gray light of the morning, Grady, who was seeking
consolation, said: "Mr. Travers, what is the best thing I can buy in
Wall Street?" The noted wit of the Stock Exchange replied: "The best
thing you can buy is a ticket back to Atlanta." [Laughter.]

Two old darkies, lounging on a street corner in Richmond, Va., one day,
were suddenly aroused by a runaway team that came dashing toward them at
breakneck speed. The driver, scared nearly to death, had abandoned his
reins, and was awkwardly climbing out of the wagon at the rear end. One
of the old negroes said: "Brer' Johnson, sure as you born man, de
runaway horse am powerful gran' and a monstrous fine sight to see."
Johnson shook his head doubtfully, and then replied, philosophically,
"Dat 'pends berry much, nigger, on whedder you be standin' on de corner
obsarvin' of him, or be gittin' ober de tail-board ob de waggin." And
likewise, it strikes me that any keen enjoyment to be gotten out of
after-dinner speaking is peculiarly contingent--"'pendin' berry much on
whedder you is standin' off lookin' on, or gittin' ober de tail-board of
de waggin." [Laughter.]

If Wall Street is all that spiteful cynics and ignorant fanatics say of
it--if we are to admit that it is a den of thieves, where only
falsehood, treachery, and iniquitous schemes are propagated; if there is
any ground for believing that all the exchan