ella was bidden
by her godmother to go to bed, I happened to extol the graces and
virtues of the newly wedded wife of a friend of mine, and finally, as a
knockdown argument, I compared her to my own wife. "In this case," said
he, dryly, "you'll catch it when you get home." It is a peculiarity they
all have: not a ray of humor where the husband is concerned; to the best
of them and to the last he must be and must continue to be--a hero!

Now, I do not wish you to believe, nor to think that I myself believe,
that all women make heroes of their husbands. Women are logical in
nothing. They naturally hate mathematics. So, they would have their
husbands be heroes only to the rest of the world. There is a charming
picture by John Leech, the English satirist, which depicts Jones, who
never looked askance at a woman in his life, sitting demurely at table,
stuck with his nose on his plate, and Mrs. Jones opposite, redundant to
a degree, observing with gratified severity, "Now, Mr. Jones, don't let
me see you ogling those Smith girls again!" She, too, was like the
rest--the good ones, I mean--seeing the world through her husband; no
happiness but his comfort; no vanity but his glory; sacrificing herself
to his wants, and where he proves inadequate putting her imagination out
to service and bringing home a basket of flowers to deck his brow. Of
our sweethearts the humorist hath it:--

"Where are the Marys and Anns and Elizas,
Lovely and loving of yore?
Look in the columns of old 'Advertisers,'
Married and dead by the score."

But "our wives." We don't have far to look to find them; sometimes, I am
told, you army gentlemen have been known to find them turning
unexpectedly up along the ranges of the Rocky Mountains, and making
their presence felt even as far as the halls of the Montezumas. Yet how
should we get on without them? Rob mankind of his wife and time could
never become a grandfather. Strange as you may think it our wives are,
in a sense, responsible for our children; and I ask you seriously how
could the world get on if it had no children? It might get on for a
while, I do admit; but I challenge the boldest among you to say how long
it could get on without "our wives." It would not only give out of
children; in a little--a very little--while it would have no
mother-in-law, nor sister-in-law, nor brother-in-law, nor any of those
acquired relatives whom it has learned to love, and who have contributed
so lar