that in a
former day his soul occupied the body of one of the Puritan fathers, and
that for some lapse he was compelled to spend a period of time in the
body of a Hollander [laughter]; of Beaman,[9] one of the lights of your
bar; of Evarts, who, whether as statesman or as orator, delights in
making historic periods. And this year you have favored us with General
Porter,[10] whom we have been trying to capture for our annual dinner,
it seems to me, ever since the Mayflower entered Plymouth Bay.

We have condoled with these honored guests as they with tears have told
us of their pitiful lot, have narrated to us how, when they might have
been tilling the soil (or what passes for soil) of the New Hampshire
hills, shearing their lambs, manipulating their shares (with the aid of
plough-handles), and watering their stock at the nearest brook, and
might have been on speaking acquaintance with the Ten Commandments and
have indulged a hope of some day going to heaven, and possibly to Boston
[laughter]--on the other hand, a hard fate has compelled them to be
millionaires, living in palaces on Murray Hill, to confine their
agricultural operations to the Swamp, and to eke out a precarious
livelihood by buying what they do not want and selling what they have
not got. [Laughter and applause.] Remembering this debt, I thought that
it was at least due to you that, in recognition of your courtesy, I
should come over and confess judgment, and put you out of suspense by
telling you at once that the assets will not pay for the expenses of
distribution. The best I can do is to make you a preferred creditor.
[Laughter.] I have heard that an Israelite without guile, doing business
down in Chatham Street, called his creditors together, and offered them
in settlement his note for ten per cent, on their claims, payable in
four months. His brother, one of the largest creditors, rather "kicked";
but the debtor took him aside and said, "Do not make any objections,
and I will make you a preferred creditor." [Laughter and applause.] So
the proposal was accepted by all. Presently, the preferred brother said,
"Well, I should like what is coming to me." "Oh," was the reply, "you
won't get anything; they won't any of them get anything." "But I thought
I was a preferred creditor." "So you are. These notes will not be paid
when they come due; but it will take them four months to find out that
they are not going to get anything. But you know it now; you see