and, by a consequence, I feel the more--so I say how
I want news of you ... which, when they arrive, I shall read
'meritoriously'--do you think? My friend, what ought I to tell you on
that head (or the reverse rather)--of your discourse? I should like to
match you at a fancy-flight; if I could, give you nearly as pleasant
an assurance that 'there's no merit in the case,' but the hot weather
and lack of wit get the better of my good will--besides, I remember
once to have admired a certain enticing simplicity in the avowal of
the Treasurer of a Charitable Institution at a Dinner got up in its
behalf--the Funds being at lowest, Debt at highest ... in fact, this
Dinner was the last chance of the Charity, and this Treasurer's speech
the main feature in the chance--and our friend, inspired by the
emergency, went so far as to say, with a bland smile--'Do not let it
be supposed that we--_despise_ annual contributors,--we
_rather_--solicit their assistance.' All which means, do not think
that I take any 'merit' for making myself supremely happy, I rather
&c. &c.

Always rather mean to deserve it a little better--but never shall: so
it should be, for you and me--and as it was in the beginning so it is
still. You are the--But you know and why should I tease myself with
words?

Let me send this off now--and to-morrow some more, because I trust to
hear you have made the first effort and with success.

Ever yours, my dear friend,

R.B.

_E.B.B. to R.B._

Monday.
[Post-mark, July 8, 1845.]

Well--I have really been out; and am really alive after it--which is
more surprising still--alive enough I mean, to write even _so_,
to-night. But perhaps I say so with more emphasis, to console myself
for failing in my great ambition of getting into the Park and of
reaching Mr. Kenyon's door just to leave a card there vaingloriously,
... all which I did fail in, and was forced to turn back from the
gates of Devonshire Place. The next time it will be better
perhaps--and this time there was no fainting nor anything very wrong
... not even cowardice on the part of the victim (be it recorded!) for
one of my sisters was as usual in authority and ordered the turning
back just according to her own prudence and not my selfwill. Only you
will not, any of you, ask me to admit that it was all
delightful--pl