e conflict between the parental ideal and other phases of the sexual
impulse is even more pronounced in men than in women, for two reasons.
In the first place, the mother plays by far the largest part in the life
of her children, so that the son's fixation upon her is necessarily more
intense than the daughter's affection for the father. Yet on the other
hand, the sexual desire of the male is more easily aroused than that of
the female, and is more apt to centre upon some member of the opposite
sex who possesses certain physical attractiveness but is not at all like
the mother ideal. Thus it happens that men often enshrine on their
hearthstone the woman who approximates the worshipped mother, while they
seek satisfaction for their erotic needs outside the home. In other
words, in the masculine psyche there is often a dissociation of the
sexual impulse in its direct manifestations and the sentiment of love in
its more idealistic aspects. This partially explains the fact that it
is possible for a man to be "unfaithful" to his wife while actually
loving her devotedly all the time.

A different solution of the unconscious conflict between the mother
fixation and the sexual desires at lower levels is seen in those cases
in which the man impulsively marries the woman who has this transient
attraction for him. When the first passion of such an alliance has worn
away, there is no lasting bond to take its place, and the man must find
solace in some such way as an intimate friendship with a woman who
recalls the maternal impressions of his childhood. A famous example of
this is found in the beautiful affection of Auguste Comte for his
idolized Clotilde de Vaux. Although Comte was bound to a woman whom he
had married in the flush of erotic desire and whom he found entirety
uncongenial, Clotilde became the inspiration of his later life, and held
his affection without the aid of any material bond because she so
closely resembled the dead mother whom he adored.[3]

It is evident that the selection of a mate who is erotically attractive,
but proves to be very similar to a parent who was disliked instead of
loved, is as unfortunate as the choice of a partner who is utterly
unlike a beloved father or mother. Indeed, when all the possible
complications are clearly visualized, taking into account the numerous
ways in which the sexual emotions can be modified, it is plain that
these unconscious factors which determine the choice of a mate