d mate only the patent log clicking
off the knots said the butler it needs oiling again but cuthbert
said the captain why are you so nervous and what means that flush
upon your face that flush your honor is chicken pox said cuthbert i
am subject to sudden attacks of it unhand that pie cried the ships
surgeon leaping to his feet arrest that butler he is a teuton spy
that is not chicken pox at all it is german measles ha ha cried the
false butler the ship is doomed there is a clock work bomb in this
pie my name is not cuthbert it is friedrich and he leaped through a
port into the sea his blonde side whiskers which were false falling
off as he did so ha ha rang his mocking laughter from the ocean as
he pulled shoreward with long strokes your ship is doomed my god
said the senior boatswain what shall we do stop the clock ordered
the captain but i had already done so i braced my head against the
hour hand and my feet against the minute hand and stopped the
mechanism the captain drew his sword and pried off all the top crust
gentlemen he said yonder cockroach has saved the ship let us throw
the pie overboard and steam rapidly away from it advised the
starboard ensign not so not so cried the captain yon gallant
cockroach must not perish so gratitude is a tradition of the british
navy i would sooner perish with him than desert him all the time the
strain was getting worse on me if my feet slipped the clock would
start again and all would be lost beads of sweat rolled down my
forehead and almost blinded me something must be done quick said the
first assistant captain the insect is losing his rigidity wait said
the surgeon and gave me a hypodermic of some powerful east indian
drug which stiffened me like a cataleptic but i could still see and
hear for days and days a council of war was held about me every
afternoon and wireless reports sent to london save the cockroach
even if you lose the ship wirelessed the admiralty england must
stand by the smaller nations and every hour the surgeon gave me
another hypodermic at the end of four weeks the cabin boy who had
been thinking deeply all the time suggested that a plug of wood be
inserted in my place which was done and i fell to the deck well nigh
exhausted the next day i was set on shore in the captains gig and
here i am.

archy

So far as