's something in the City,
And she's a blue-eyed girl absurd-
-ly pretty.

By Jove! she does it with a whirr,
It's clear this inexpressive she
Is given to the _fortiter_
_In re_.

Of course it's forward--and indeed
It's worse--it's shockingly imprudent
Thus to encourage me, a need-
-y student.

Her form is shadowy--I must
Get out my glasses, so to bring
Her nearer. Yes--the range is just
The thing!

* * * * *

Life is a farce, without a doubt!
The cause of all this fuss and fluster
Is just a housemaid shaking out
Her duster!

* * * * *

IN THEIR EASTER EGGS.

_Lord Salisbury_.--Allegorical Cartoon representing BRITANNIA
astonished at the success of her recent Foreign Policy.

_Mr. Gladstone_.--Pocket Edition of Cyclopaedia of Universal
Information, copiously illustrated, for the use of veteran Statesmen.

_The Emperor of Germany_.--Prize Homily on the Art of Governing, with
special reference to the science as applied to the subordination of
"temper."

_Mr. Parnell_.--Sculptured Group representing the Reptile of Egotism
turning the tables on St. Patrick, and endeavouring to drive him out
of Ireland.

_The President of the United States_.--An Italian Iron--over-heated.

_Ex-King Milan of Servia_.--A Monthly Cheque for amusement and
travelling expenses, but not including a return ticket to Belgrade.

_The Post-Master-General_.--One hundred Receipts for getting into hot
water.

_Mr. Sheriff Augustus Harris_.--Draft Proposal for buying up and
working the British Government with duly audited Schedule, showing how
the "takings" could be more than doubled by spirited management.

_Mr. Jackson of Clitheroe_.--Prize Farce entitled, "Lynch Law and
Conjugal Rights."

* * * * *

MEN WHO HAVE TAKEN ME IN--

TO DINNER.

(_BY A DINNER-BELLE._)

NO. III.--THE GREAT UNKNOWN.

[Illustration]

_He_ was a dapper, dumpy thing,
With nought decisive on him graven
But smiles, like footlights flickering
O'er visage shaven.

And _it_, that kind of social myth
Where every guest (and each a rum one)
Is Somebody, because the kith
Or kin of Someone.

The Great Siberian Victim's Aunt,
The Godfather of Colonel CODY,
And some a