nk you.--We shall not charge for
this interview, but one must live.--I do not see the necessity
(_v_. Anecdotes in Appendix).--The Necessity is the mother of the
inventory.--Who is the Caretaker?--She is the great-grandmother of the
superannuated laundress. She becomes sleepy during the Winter. Shall
we send her to your house?--Not if I know it (expletive). Receive
the assurance (insurance) of my highest consideration. By the bye
(interjection), which is the topmost storey?--The topmost story is the
last thing you have heard me mention. I salute you, Sir.

* * * * *

TAKEN UPON TRUST.

(_A FAIR-AND-UNFAIRY STORY, FOUNDED UPON A MAGIC ACT._)

[Illustration]

Once upon a time there existed two fatherless and motherless orphans,
who were just old enough to work for their living. Unfortunately they
did not know how to dig, were too proud to beg, and had conscientious
scruples that prevented them from stealing. Besides, one of the two
was a girl; and there were not many openings for her. And matters
would have gone very hard with them, indeed, had not a distant, but
benevolent relative, kindly died and left them as a legacy a sum of
money, of which they were to have the interest until they attained
their majority, when it was to be divided equally between them. They
were overjoyed, and rushed to the executor, who happened to be a
lawyer.

"Yes," said the man of costs, "I am indeed charged with the execution
of the trust, and for your own sakes I hope you will not give me much
trouble, as I shall, under the conditions of the will, have to make
you pay for it."

And after he had entered their visit (which he called an attendance)
in his diary, to be subsequently copied into a ledger, he bowed them
out.

So the two orphans disappeared a little crestfallen; and they soon
discovered that their legacy had the faculty of diminishing. The
lawyer immediately transferred the money, which was invested in
what he called "second-rate securities," into Consols, and this cost
something, and considerably diminished their income. When the two
orphans remonstrated, the lawyer said, that as he made scarcely more
than out-of-pocket expenses in the matter, he did not feel justified
in incurring the slightest risk.

"I am only a simple girl," murmured one of the orphans, with a nervous
blush; "but does not a recent statute give trustees power to invest
the funds of their _cestui que_ trusts in securitie