ave already been
accepted--to the thrones and chairs now vacant in various parts of
the world have been made and approved by the Allied Governments.

Foremost among these is the nomination "by acclamation" of RICHARD
STRAUSS as King of the Cannibal Islands. It is understood that the
illustrious composer has already arrived and that a grand congress
of Anthropophagi with suitable festivities is in contemplation.

Two nominations which have been the cause of great satisfaction in
diplomatic circle are those of Mr. MARK HAMBOURG to the Kingdom of
Palestine, and that of M. MOISEIWITCH to the throne of the Solomon
Islands. Jamborees of jubilation are already rife in the latter
locality.

Sir HENRY WOOD has been simultaneously approached from two quarters.
The leading citizens of Sonora have offered him the Presidentship of
that interesting State. At the same time an urgent invitation has been
sent to the eminent conductor offering him the throne of the Empire of
Percussia. Sir HENRY'S decision is awaitod with feverish anxiety.

It is stated by the _Corriere della Sera_ that Madame MELBA,
the Australian nightingale, has been chosen to preside over the
Jug-jugo-Slav Republic, while Madame CLARA BUTT has been unanimously
elected Empress of Patagonia.

Sir THOMAS BEECHAM'S selection from among the candidates for the
throne of New Guinea, is regarded as a foregone conclusion. The famous
violinist, Mr. ALBERT SAMMONS, has so far returned no final answer
to the offer of the Crown of Sordinia, but it is believed that he
cannot long remain mute to the touching appeal of the signatories. A
favourable answer is also expected from Mlle. Jelly Aranyi, who has
been nominated Queen of Guava.

On the other hand Sir EDWARD ELGAR, O.M., has steadfastly declined the
Tsardom of Bulgaria, even though it was proposed to change the name of
the country to Elgaria.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Milliner_. "HOW DOES MODOM LIKE THIS LITTLE BIRD OF
PARADISE MODEL? IT BECOMES MODOM VERY WELL."

_Customer_. "YES, IT _IS_ RATHER NICE, BUT _(remembers her obligations
as a mother)_ HOW MANY COUPONS?"]

* * * * *

TO AN EGYPTIAN BOY.

Child of the gorgeous East, whose ardent suns
Have kissed thy velvet skin to deeper lustre
And given thine almond eyes
A look more calm and wise
Than any we pale Westerners can muster,
Alas! my mean intelligence affords
No c