would apologize to her for my particularity. And then Mrs. Sinclair
hesitating, and moving towards the door, (though she turned round to me
again,) I desired her, (lighting her,) to take care how she went down.

Pray, Madam, said she, on the stairs-head, don't give yourself all this
trouble. God knows my heart, I meant no affront: but, since you seem to
take my freedom amiss, I beg you will not acquaint Mr. Lovelace with it;
for he perhaps will think me bold and impertinent.

Now, my dear, is not this a particular incident, either as I have made
it, or as it was designed? I don't love to do an uncivil thing. And if
nothing were meant by the request, my refusal deserves to be called
uncivil. Then I have shown a suspicion of foul usage by it, which surely
dare not be meant. If just, I ought to apprehend every thing, and fly
the house and the man as I would an infection. If not just, and if I
cannot contrive to clear myself of having entertained suspicions, by
assigning some other plausible reason for my denial, the very staying
here will have an appearance not at all reputable to myself.

I am now out of humour with him,--with myself,--with all the world, but
you. His companions are shocking creatures. Why, again I repeat, should
he have been desirous to bring me into such company? Once more I like
him not.--Indeed I do not like him!

LETTER IX

MISS CLARISSA HARLOWE, TO MISS HOWE
TUESDAY, MAY 2.

With infinite regret I am obliged to tell you, that I can no longer write
to you, or receive letters from you.--Your mother has sent me a letter
enclosed in a cover to Mr. Lovelace, directed for him at Lord M.'s, (and
which was brought him just now,) reproaching me on this subject in very
angry terms, and forbidding me, 'as I would not be thought to intend to
make her and you unhappy, to write to you without her leave.'

This, therefore, is the last you must receive from me, till happier days.
And as my prospects are not very bad, I presume we shall soon have leave
to write again; and even to see each other: since an alliance with a
family so honourable as Mr. Lovelace's is will not be a disgrace.

She is pleased to write, 'That if I would wish to inflame you, I should
let you know her written prohibition: but if otherwise, find some way of
my own accord (without bringing her into the question) to decline a
correspondence, which I must know she has for some time past forbidden.'
But all I can say is, to b