ncestuous marriage with
Agrippina, he was perpetually calling her, "My daughter, my nursling,
born and brought up upon my lap." And when he was going to adopt Nero,
as if there was little cause for censure in his adopting a son-in-law,
when he had a son of his own arrived at years of maturity; he continually
gave out in public, "that no one had ever been admitted by adoption into
the Claudian family."

XL. He frequently appeared so careless in what he said, and so
inattentive to circumstances, that it was believed he never reflected who
he himself was, or amongst whom, or at (328) what time, or in what place,
he spoke. In a debate in the senate relative to the butchers and
vintners, he cried out, "I ask you, who can live without a bit of meat?"
And mentioned the great plenty of old taverns, from which he himself used
formerly to have his wine. Among other reasons for his supporting a
certain person who was candidate for the quaestorship, he gave this: "His
father," said he, "once gave me, very seasonably, a draught of cold water
when I was sick." Upon his bringing a woman as a witness in some cause
before the senate, he said, "This woman was my mother's freedwoman and
dresser, but she always considered me as her master; and this I say,
because there are some still in my family that do not look upon me as
such." The people of Ostia addressing him in open court with a petition,
he flew into a rage at them, and said, "There is no reason why I should
oblige you: if any one else is free to act as he pleases, surely I am."
The following expressions he had in his mouth every day, and at all hours
and seasons: "What! do you take me for a Theogonius?" [541] And in Greek
lalei kai mae thingane, "Speak, but do not touch me;" besides many other
familiar sentences, below the dignity of a private person, much more of
an emperor, who was not deficient either in eloquence or learning, as
having applied himself very closely to the liberal sciences.

XLI. By the encouragement of Titus Livius [542], and with the assistance
of Sulpicius Flavus, he attempted at an early age the composition of a
history; and having called together a numerous auditory, to hear and give
their judgment upon it, he read it over with much difficulty, and
frequently interrupting himself. For after he had begun, a great laugh
was raised amongst the company, by the breaking of several benches from
the weight of a very fat man; and even when order was restor