Public
Hall, and there screeched and wept and fainted, till it really looked
as if some authority ought to interfere. If I had had my way, I would
have drummed the preachers out of the town. Mary and Mrs. Wade and one
or two others were about the only women who escaped the epidemic.
Seriously, it led to a good deal of domestic misery. Poor Tomkins's
wife drove him to such a pass by her scandalous neglect of the house,
that one morning he locked her into her bedroom, and there he kept her
on very plain diet for three days. We thought of getting up a meeting
to render public thanks to Tomkins, and to give him some little
testimonial."

Denzil uttered roars of laughter; the story was exactly of the kind
that made appeal to his humorous instincts.

"Has the ferment subsided?" he asked.

"Tolerably well; leaving a good deal of froth and scum, however. The
worst of it was that, in the very week when those makebates had
departed, there came down on us a second plague, in the shape of Mrs.
Hitchin, the apostle of--I don't quite know what, but she calls it
Purity. Of course, you know her by repute. She, too, had the Public
Hall, and gave addresses to which only women were admitted. I have a
very strong opinion as to the tendency of those addresses, and if
Rabelais had come to life among us just then--but never mind. The fact
is, old Polterham got into a thoroughly unwholesome condition, and
we're anything but right yet. Perhaps a little honest fighting between
Liberal and Tory may help to clear the air.--Well, now, that brings me
to what I really wish to talk about. To tell you the truth, I don't
feel half satisfied with what I have done. My promise to stand, you
know, was only conditional, and I think I must get out of it."

"Why?"

"Mary was rather tickled with the idea at first; naturally she had no
objection to be Mrs. M.P., and she persuaded herself that I was just
the man to represent Polterham. I felt rather less sure of it, and now
I am getting pretty well convinced that I had better draw back before I
make a fool of myself."

"What about your chances? Is there any hope of a majority?"

"That's more than I can tell you. The long-headed men, like your Uncle
Sam (an unwilling witness) and Edward Coke, say that the day has come
for the Liberals. I don't know, but I suspect that a really brisk and
popular man might carry it against either of the Welwyn-Bakers. That
fellow Hugh will never do--by the way, that might