his self-contempt, he calls
himself "fig-stomach" or "cake-stomach." But amid all this the religious
and political exaltation and visits all the battlefields near to the road
that he follows. On the 18th of October he is back at Jena, where he
resumes his studies with more application than ever. It is among such
university studies that the year 1818 closes far him, and we should
hardly suspect the terrible resolution which he has taken, were it not
that we find in his journal this last note, dated the 31st of December:

"I finish the last day of this year 1818, then, in a serious and solemn
mood, and I have decided that the Christmas feast which has just gone by
will be the last Christmas feast that I shall celebrate. If anything is
to come of our efforts, if the cause of humanity is to assume the upper
hand in our country, if in this faithless epoch any noble feelings can
spring up afresh and make way, it can only happen if the wretch, the
traitor, the seducer of youth, the infamous Kotzebue, falls! I am fully
convinced of this, and until I have accomplished the work upon which I
have resolved, I shall have no rest. Lord, Thou who knowest that I have
devoted my life to this great action, I only need, now that it is fixed
in my mind, to beg of Thee true firmness and courage of soul."

Here Sand's diary ends; he had begun it to strengthen himself; he had
reached his aim; he needed nothing more. From this moment he was
occupied by nothing but this single idea, and he continued slowly to
mature the plan in his head in order to familiarise himself with its
execution; but all the impressions arising from this thought remained in
his own mind, and none was manifested on the surface. To everyone else
he was the same; but for some little time past, a complete and unaltered
serenity, accompanied by a visible and cheerful return of inclination
towards life, had been noticed in him. He had made no charge in the
hours or the duration of his studies; but he had begun to attend the
anatomical classes very assiduously. One day he was seen to give even
more than his customary attention to a lesson in which the professor was
demonstrating the various functions of the heart; he examined with the
greatest care the place occupied by it in the chest, asking to have some
of the demonstrations repeated two or three times, and when he went out,
questioning some of the young men who were following the medical courses,
about the suscep