result with history, positive sciences, and the finer parts of religious
education, and when my suffering became more violent and for a time
interrupted these occupations, I struggled successfully, nevertheless,
against ennui; for the memories of the past, my resignation to the
present, and my faith in the future were rich enough and strong enough in
me and round me to prevent my falling from my terrestrial paradise.
According to my principles, I would never, in the position in which I am
and in which I have placed myself, have been willing to ask anything for
my own comfort; but so much kindness and care have been lavished upon me,
with so much delicacy and humanity,--which alas! I am unable to
return--by every person with whom I have been brought into contact, that
wishes which I should not have dared to frame in the mast private
recesses of my heart have been more than exceeded. I have never been so
much overcome by bodily pains that I could not say within myself, while I
lifted my thoughts to heaven, 'Come what may of this ray.' And great as
these gains have been, I could not dream of comparing them with those
sufferings of the soul that we feel so profoundly and poignantly in the
recognition of our weaknesses and faults.

"Moreover, these pains seldom now cause me to lose consciousness; the
swelling and inflammation never made great headway, and the fever has
always been moderate, though for nearly ten months I have been forced to
remain lying on my back, unable to raise myself, and although more than
forty pints of matter have come from my chest at the place where the
heart is. No, an the contrary, the wound, though still open, is in a
good state; and I owe that not only to the excellent nursing around me,
but also to the pure blood that I received from you, my mother. Thus I
have lacked neither earthly assistance nor heavenly encouragement. Thus,
on the anniversary of my birth, I had every reason--oh, not to curse the
hour in which I was born, but, on the contrary, after serious
contemplation of the world, to thank God and you, my dear parents, for
the life that you have given me! I celebrated it, on the 18th of
October, by a peaceful and ardent submission to the holy will of God. On
Christmas Day I tried to put myself into the temper of children who are
devoted to the Lord; and with God's help the new year will pass like its
predecessor, in bodily pain, perhaps, but certainly in spiritual joy.
And with t