es under the floor. They may frighten away the rats." (_Pulls up
the floor and finds an immense nugget. Her father rushes in to see it.
Two miners also see it and try to raise it. They are promptly seen and
called by_ MAY, _who shoots one and holds the pistol pointed at the
other, while the curtain slowly falls._)

ACT III.--_Scene, a London drawing-room. Enter_ MAY, _gorgeously
dressed. Also her father, who has forgotten all about his wife, and
also_ LIONEL _and the_ COMIC YANKEE.

COMIC YANKEE. "Let us sing."

MAY. "Come on, old hoss." (_They sing and dance for an hour, such being
the pleasant custom of fashionable London society._)

MAY. "Miss CLARA! I understand you are engaged to marry LIONEL, and that
if you marry anybody else you lose your dower of twenty thousand pounds.
Sell LIONEL to me, and I will give you a check for the amount."

CLARA. "Thanks, noble stranger, there is the receipt. Hand over the
money."

LIONEL. "Dearest MAY, as you must have a pretty large bank account, to
be able to draw checks for twenty thousand pounds, I am quite sure I
love you."

MAY. "Come to my arms. Now then, everybody, how is that for high!"
(_Slow curtain, relieved by eccentric gymnastics by the_ COMIC YANKEE.)

BOY IN THE AUDIENCE. "Pa! isn't that splendid?"

DISCRIMINATING PARENT. "What! How! Who! Where am I? O, to be sure, I
came to see _Heart's Ease_, and to take my evening nap. Did LOTTA play
the banjo?"

BOY. "O didn't she just. She played and sung dead loads of times."

DISCRIMINATING PARENT. "I have had a sweet nap. My son, I think I can
now risk taking you to the minstrels. If I slept through this, I could
feel reasonably sure of sleeping through even the dark conundrums and
sentimental colored ballads. There is only a shade of difference between
the two styles of performance, and that slight shade is only burnt
cork."

MATADOR.

* * * * *

Mural Decorations in Rome.

The "dead walls" of Rome, as we learn from the telegrams, were lately
placarded with immense posters proclaiming the Italian Republic.

Rome being an "Eternal City," we were not previously aware that any of
her walls were dead. If they are, however, it may be that the posters of
the posters referred to took that method of bringing them to life again,
which may be looked on as a _post mortem_ proceeding.

* * * * *

[Illustration: THE RETORT COURTEOUS.

_Newly-arrived Br