ce, and down goes
Creeping Peter on his knees. Every man who had bet against him set up a
howl of rapture, but Mr. P. never relaxed a muscle, and on went Creeping
Peter, just as fast as ever, his horny bones dashing away the sand and
gravel like spray from the cut-water of a scudding yacht, and, amid the
wildest clamor, he shot past the judges' stand on his nose and one leg,
making his mile in two minutes and two seconds!

[Illustration]

It is needless to dwell upon the results of this race.

Mr. P. now owes no man anything, nor is he even indebted to his noble
steed. Behold his testimony to the merits of that valuable animal!

[Illustration]

* * * * *

Something Original In Suicide.

An item in an evening paper states that "a man near Syracuse recently
cut his throat with a scythe."

Well, certainly this was a new Mowed of doing the business, although, as
it was the first instance of the kind on record, it cannot properly be
said that the business was done _a la mowed_.

* * * * *

Jocular and Ocular.

Can the public be properly said to have looked forward to SEEBACH?

* * * * *

ANNA DICKINSON.

One bright October morning in the year 1828, a lone lorn woman by the
name of GUMMIDGE might have been seen standing at the corner of a
wheat-field where two cross-roads met and embraced. She was weeping
violently. Ever and anon she would raise her head and gaze mysteriously
in the direction of a cloud of dust which moved slowly over the hill
toward the town. Her name was FATIMA. FATIMA GUMMIDGE. "Sister ANNIE,"
she cried, "what do you see?" But sister ANNIE was far away. She was not
there. She was attending an agricultural fair in the beautiful young
state of Kansas.

Thus gracefully do we introduce our heroine upon the scene. The reader
will be able to judge, from this, whether we are familiar with the
literature of our day, or not. He will be able to form a complimentary
opinion of our culture. He will perceive that we are acquainted with the
writings of Messrs. JAMES, and DICKENS, and BLUEBEARD. There is nothing
like impressing your reader with an adequate sense of your ability for
laborious research, when you are doing biography for a high-toned
journal.

At what period in her career our illustrious victim applied to the
Legislature to change her name from GUMMIDGE to DICKINSON, we are unable
to discover. T