lities.
They solemnly inform us that Esau was a trickster, as though Jacob's
qualities were catching? and that he tried to bite his brother's neck,
but God turned it into marble, and he only broke his teeth. Esau wept
for the pain in his grinders. But why did Jacob weep? This looks like a
poser, yet later rabbis surmounted the difficulty. Jacob's neck was not
turned into marble, but toughened. It was hard enough to-hurt Esau's
teeth, and still tender enough to make Jacob suffer, so they cried in
concert, though for different reasons.

Satyrs are mentioned in the Bible, although they never existed outside
the superstitious imagination. The rabbis undertook to explain the
peculiar structure of these fabulous creatures, as well as of fauns, who
somewhat resemble them. The theory was started, therefore, that God was
overtaken by the Sabbath, while he was creating them, and was obliged to
postpone finishing them till the next day. Hence they are misshapen! The
rabbis also say that God cut off Adam's tail to make Eve of. The Bible
origin of woman is low, but this is lower still. However, if Adam
exchanged his tail for a wife he made a very good bargain, despite the
apple and the Devil.

Captain Noah, says the Talmud, could not take the rhinoceros into the
ark because it was too big. Rabbi Jannai solemnly asserts that he saw
a young rhinoceros, only a day old, as big as Mount Tabor. Its neck was
three miles long, its head half a mile, and the river Jordan was choked
by its excrement. Let us pause at this stretcher, which "stands well for
high."

Perhaps the Christian will join us in laughing at such pious
puerilities. But he should remember that the Bible is loaded with
absurdities that are little inferior. Ravens bring a prophet sandwiches,
another prophet besieges a tile, an axe swims on the water, a man slays
a thousand men in battle with the jawbone of a donkey, an ass speaks,
and a whale swallows and vomits a man. Had these pious puerilities
occurred in any other book, they would have been laughed to scorn; but
being in the Bible, they must be credited on pain of eternal damnation.

"THUS SAITH THE LORD."

Dogmatism, said Douglas Jerrold, is only puppyism grown to maturity.
This sarcastic wit never said a truer thing. We call a young fellow a
puppy when he is conceited and impudent, and we call a man dogmatic when
he betrays the same qualities in controversy. Yet every Church prides
itself on being dogmatic. R