fact I don't suppose the
Messington-Smiths are either--now."

I left Arabella smiling triumphantly through her tears,
but when I returned in the evening the breakfast-time frown had
reappeared with even crinklier ramifications.

"Why," I asked, "are you looking like a tube map?"

"Mrs. Messington-Smith," she answered with a slight catch in her voice,
"has just been telephoning."

"I thought the receiver looked a bit played out," I said. "What does she
want with us now?"

"Well, she _has_ got a sore throat after all. You could tell that from
her voice. And she isn't going to _The Purple Lie_ either. She never
even meant to."

"But the tickets," I gasped.

"She and her husband quite forgot about them till to-day," said
Arabella. "And now they have given them away to some friends. But they
weren't given away at all till this afternoon, and----"

She broke off and gave a lachrymose little sniff.

"And what?"

"And she knew, of course, that we're disengaged to-night, and when she
got my letter she was just going to send them round to us."

* * * * *

Illustration: BEATEN ON POINTS.

L.C.C. TRAM. "HARD LINES ON ME!"

MOTOR-'BUS. "YES, IT'S ALWAYS HARD LINES WITH YOU, MY BOY. THAT'S WHAT'S
THE MATTER; YOU CAN'T SIDE-STEP."

* * * * *

Illustration: "WHO'S THE LITTLE MAN HOLDING HIS RACKET THAT FUNNY WAY?"

"OH, THAT'S MR. BINKS. HE TAKES THE PLATE ROUND IN CHURCH, YOU KNOW."

* * * * *
Commercial Candour.

From a testimonial:--

"I have had this cover on the rear wheel of my 3-1/2 h.p. Humber
Motor Cycle and have ridden same 7,000 miles, six of these without a
puncture."--_Advt. in "Motor Cycle."_

* * * * *

"MRD. CPL., temporary."--_Advt. in "Daily Mail."_

When we tell you that the mystic letters mean "married couple," you will
share our horror.

* * * * *

WOMAN AT THE FIGHT.

In ancient unsophisticated days
Women were valued for their cloistered ways.
And won at Rome encouragement from man
Only because they stayed at home and span;
While PERICLES in Attic Greek expressed
The view that those least talked about were best.
There were exceptions, but the normal Greek
Regarded SAPPHO as a dangerous freak,
And CLYTEMNESTRA for three thousand years
Was pelted with unmitigated sneers,
Till RICHARD STRAUS