amous judge, Sir Nicholas Bacon, who
was importuned by a criminal to spare his life on account of
kinship. "How so," demanded the judge. "Because my name is Hog and
yours is Bacon; and hog and bacon are so near akin that they cannot
be separated."

"Ay," responded the judge dryly, "but you and I cannot yet be
kindred, for hog is not bacon until it is well hanged."

* * * * *

On another occasion a nervous barrister, pleading before this same
judge, began with repeated references to his "unfortunate client."
"Go on, sir," said the judge, "so far the Court is with you."

* * * * *

Of Jonathan Swift it is related that a gentleman who had sought to
persuade him to accept an invitation to dinner said, in way of
special inducement, "I'll send you my bill of fare." "Send me
rather your bill of company," retorted Swift, showing his
appreciation of the truth that not that which is eaten, but those
who eat, form the more important part of a good dinner.

On the occasion when the "dreadful Judge Jeffreys" was trying Compton,
bishop of London, before the Court of High Commission, that prelate, as
Campbell relates in his _Lives of the Lord Chancellors_, complained of
having no copy of the indictment. Jeffreys replied to this excuse that
"all the coffee houses had it for a penny." The case being resumed after
the lapse of a week, the bishop again protested that he was unprepared,
owing to his continued difficulty in obtaining a copy of the necessary
document. Jeffreys was obliged once more to adjourn the case, and in so
doing offered this bantering apology:

"My lord," said he, "in telling you our commission was to be seen in
every coffee house, I did not speak with any design to reflect on your
lordship, as if you were a haunter of coffee houses. I abhor the
thoughts of it!"

As the Judge had once been distinctly opposed to the party and
principles which he went to such a length in supporting, so had he
formerly owed something to the very institution against which his last
blow was directed. Roger North relates (and Campbell repeats the story)
that, "after he was called to the bar, he used to sit in coffee houses
and order his man to come and tell him that company attended him at his
chamber; at which he would huff and say, 'let them stay a little, I will
come presently,' and th