hn Wilson
youre a monsteer, youre a vaggerbone, youre a rech, youre a inferrnus
skoundrel. Take me back to my mama, rite away, and if youve got a spark
of manhood about you, you'll go and make wot little restertushin you
can, to the mothers of these wurse than orfans."

Quicker'an litenin, Mr. Wilson tumbelled, and laffin a fiendish grin, he
sung out in axcents wild: "Get me a Gatlin Gun, and lode it down to the
mussle with thirty-leven charges of dannymite, and let me get a shot, at
that incorragerbel imp of Haydes, the _Buster's_ Devil."

Then carmin down a littel, he took this mornins paper outen his pocket
and red out loud to the crowd: "Wanted; a fine, helthy infant for
adopshun. No questshuns ast. Leeve it at the Metrypolytan hotel for John
Wilson, mannergin edittur _Daily Buster_."

This put everybodie in good humer agen, and, after settin up the drinks
for the crowd, Mr. and Mrs. Wilson went out to the country to hire
a farm and sum wimmin to take care of the baby's till homes culd be
secured for 'em.

I guess him and his wife's sickened on baby's enyway, cos I hurd him
tellin the hotel clurk that they'd had all the baby's round them that
they'd ever have, by gumbo.

And now, Mr. Diry, I must close for to-nite, cos I've got to smoke the
25-center wot the religus edittur giv me for the laff he'd had outer my
joke on Mr. Wilson.

CHAPTER XVIII.

AT THE MASQUE BALL.--FRIVERLUS FIXINS.--A PARISIEN
GREASETTE, WOT MASHED THE MASKULINE CHARACKTERS.--MR. GILLEY
COT IN HER TOILS.--THE DEVIL IT IS.

Last nite Mr. Gilley giv me a invyta-shun to the fancy masque ball, wot
all New York's ben torkin bout for the last six weaks. It was to be a
toney affaire, so wen I got hum I went all thru my wardrobe, but culdn't
find nothin fancyer than the cloes I wore wen I painted the back
fense at our house red with green trimmins. I seen they was hardly
prackterkel, cos there was a feint oder of cows & horses clingin to
them wot the heet of the ball room mite develop in a way wot wuldn't
be satisfacktorie to myself or the delercate knoeses of the other
aristocrazey present.

[Illustration: IT WAS ONY THE WURK OF A MINNIT TO PRY OPEN THE LID ]

So I put em away with a sy, and had jest bout maid up my mind that the
other ballers wuldn't be treeted to my distingushed presense, wen I
remembered the box of cloes wot our dinin room gal, wot was purty fly,
left, wen she loped with the buggler, & all ma's silv