The Project Gutenberg EBook of The Bad Boy At Home, by Walter T. Gray

This eBook is for the use of anyone anywhere at no cost and with
almost no restrictions whatsoever. You may copy it, give it away or
re-use it under the terms of the Project Gutenberg License included
with this eBook or online at www.gutenberg.org

Title: The Bad Boy At Home
And His Experiences In Trying To Become An Editor - 1885

Author: Walter T. Gray

Release Date: May 2, 2008 [EBook #25303]

Language: English

Character set encoding: ASCII

*** START OF THIS PROJECT GUTENBERG EBOOK THE BAD BOY AT HOME ***

Produced by David Widger

THE BAD BOY AT HOME,

AND HIS EXPERIENCES IN TRYING TO BECOME AN EDITOR.

THE FUNNIEST BOOK OF THE AGE.

BY

Walter T. Gray

1885

J. S. Ogilvie & Company.

CHAPTER I.

WHY HE CHEWSES A PERFESSHUN.--HYFALUTIN PROLOG, WITH SUM
BARE POSSIBILITIES.--PROSPECTUS OF THE "DAILY BUSTER."

Mister Diry:

I've been intending ever since I got home from Yourope, to begin ritin'
in a diry, but I ain't had no time, cos my chum Jimmy and me has been
puttin' in our days havin' fun. I've got to give all that sorter thing
up now, cos I've accepted a persisshun in a onherabel perfesshun, and
wen I get to be a man, and reech the top rung of the ladder, I'm goin'
to mak' New York howl.

Pa, he wanted me to go to skule, but I culdn't see it a tall, cos
a feller wot's alwus goin' to skule don't never kno nothin' but
base-ballin' and prize fitin' wen 'he gets thru. All them fellers wot
rite in dirys begin by usin a lot of hyfalutin wurds wot sound orful big
but don't meen nothin; so I guess I'll be in the fashun, so here goes:

You're only a quire of "common noose" paper, Mr. Diry, so you needn't
put on so menny airs over your cleen wite dress, wot only needs a
morocker lether mantel and gilt braceletts to make you look like you
b'longed to the Astor house dude.

We all know you was maid of rags, and them rags might once have bean
in the mazey, lacey laberinths of wite linnin wot audashusly pressed
'gainst the tender form of Lillyan, the dudine.

If you warn't there you mite have ben all ablaze with chane stitches and
crushed oniyun stripes, closely incircling a cupple of been-poles--no,
not eggsactly been-poles, but the sharpley, shadderly lower lims of
Sarah Jane Burnhard, the actress wot got mashed on Dam-all-her.

Then, agen, you mite have ben on some infan