he pride of the rich, and holds in
complete subjection those evil communications which corrupt good
manners."

"And nothing but the result of Municipal Ownership," put in the March
Hare enthusiastically, forgetting his grouch for a moment.

"It has other advantages, too," said the Hatter, "to which I feel I
should call your attention. These phones being in every room in town
with which anybody may be connected at any moment and thus overhear what
other people are saying, gossip is gradually dying out, and people
everywhere are more careful of what they say even in private, for
nowadays the walls literally have ears. To give you an example, I will
connect you at once with the home of the Duchess whom you met, if you
remember, in your journey through Wonderland and you may judge for
yourself of how useful this Municipaphone is to us in ascertaining the
general trend of public opinion."

[Illustration: "ALICE TRANSFIXED AT THE PHONE"]

The Hatter gave the order to Central and in a minute Alice stood
transfixed at the phone listening intently. She recognised the voice of
the Duchess immediately.

[Illustration: "THE BIGGEST JACKASS FROM DAN TO BEERSHEBA"]

"As for that old fool of a Hatter," she was saying, "he is the biggest
jackass from Dan to Beersheba."

"Well?" said the Hatter. "Can you hear her?"

"Yes," giggled Alice. "Very plainly."

"What does she say?" asked the Hatter, simpering.

"Why," said Alice reddening, "she--she's talking about you."

"The dear Duchess," ejaculated the Hatter, with a foolish smirk. "I'm
very much afraid--ahem--that the Duchess has her eye on me."

"She has," said Alice. "She is referring to you in the warmest
tones--she thinks you're big--great--the very greatest from Dan to
Beersheba."

"Ah me!" sighed the Hatter. "If I were only a younger man!"

"They'll make a match of it yet," said the White Knight in a soft
whisper to Alice.

"Yes," sneered the March Hare, who had overheard, jealously, "and a fine
old sulphur-headed lucifer of a match it will be too.

"Well, it's all very nice," said Alice, very anxious to change the
subject. "But I can't say that I'm sure I'd like it. Why, you can't have
any secrets from anybody."

"And why should you wish to, my dear child?" asked the Hatter, coming
out of his dream of romance. "Why not so order your life that you have
no need for secrecy?"

"Yes," said Alice. "I suppose that is better, but then, Mr. Hatter,
isn't there to be