n for graft
or get a record for clubbing innocent highwaymen over the head while he
was asleep either on a Park Bench, or in an alleyway. Consequently, says
they, Mr. Dormouse who wakes up only on every fifth Thursday in February
will make the best Police ossifer in the bunch, and being the best had
ought to be chose chief. Hence accordingly, it became thus. Moreover I
am a champion Tea Drinker."

"What's that got to do with it?" demanded Alice.

"Everything," said the Dormouse, rubbing his eyes sleepily. "Every
blessed thing. Tea Drinking is one of our hardest duties under the new
system providing for the Municipal Ownership of Everything in Sight
Including the Cop on the Corner. You see when the City grabbed up the
Bakeries, and the Trolleys, and the Grand Opera House, and the Condensed
Milk Factory, and the Saw Mills, and the Breakfast Food Jungles, all
envy, hatred and malice disappeared. Everybody loved his neighbour
better than he did himself or his wife's family, and consequently hence
there was therefore no crime, which left the Policeman out of a job. The
only Burglars left in town were the regularly appointed official
safecrackers representing the Municipal Ownership of Petty and Grand
Larceny. The only gambling houses left were under the direct supervision
of the Mayor acting ex-officio and the Chairman of the Aldermanic
Committee on Faro and Roulette. The Game of Bunco became a duly
authorised official diversion under control of the Tax Assessors, and
the Town Toper, being elected by popular vote, could get as leery as he
pleased by public consent. Life Insurance Agents became likewise Public
Servants under the General Ordinance of 1905 starting the Civic Tontine
Parlours where people were compelled to buy Life Insurance from the City
itself at so much a yard."

"A yard?" cried Alice.

"Yep," yawned the Dormouse. "Policies were issued anywhere from three
inches to a yard long, each inch representing a year. If you bought a
mile of Life Insurance you were insured for as many years as there are
inches in a mile. I never could stay awake long enough to figure out how
much that is, but it's several years."

"But what did the Agents have to do?" asked Alice. "If people had to
take it----"

"They went out and grabbed delinquents," said the Dormouse.

"I shouldn't think people would need life insurance for the benefit of
their families if everybody has everything he wants in Blunderland," put
in Alice.