worked for a week, till I had gained an extra rouble or two for food or
beds along the way. True, there was charity among the peasants; and I
found many a meal left on the window-ledge for wanderers. But the food
of convicts and beggars!--it was long before I, the son of a gentleman,
could touch it!--More than once, truly--Ah well, I suffered! I suffered
every fatigue, every hardship, that I might reach my destination with my
bag of roubles as little depleted as possible.

"Two terrible months of hunger and ceaseless fatigue!--Didst thou as
much for music, sir? But no. No. You are already an artist, and famous,
while I--oh, it is too much! God is not good!" And Joseph sat suddenly
up, excited by this remembrance of by-gone misery, forgetting the sudden
exhaustion so recently relieved. Two spots of red flamed in his cheeks;
and his blue eyes began to shine, feverishly:

"Who are those that succeed? Only the ones that have shelter for their
heads, clothes to keep them warm, food to give them strength to
work!--more; who can hire the right models, buy good paints, good
brushes, flawless canvases;--who can afford to study, to dream, to wait!
But to start at the very beginning--nay, with certain faults to
_unlearn_--and expect to win fame on a fortune of two hundred and fifty
roubles! Why, I _began_ in terror! My first talk with the professor at
the Institute showed me my situation.--And all the other students had so
much! They spent, in a day, an hour, what I stretched out to two weeks,
to a--a--"

Ivan sprang up, ran to the sofa, and caught the lean figure in his arms.
Kashkarin had wrought himself up to a wretched pitch. The last words had
been uttered in a tone high and wavering; and, as Ivan reached him, the
life left his body, his cheeks grew gray, his eyes dulled, his breathing
became fast and light. His rescuer plied him with weak _vodka_, chafed
his hands, bathed his temples, would have summoned a doctor, but that
Joseph soon began to revive, and in another twenty minutes seemed more
or less himself again. Indeed, he presently unclosed his eyes,
murmuring:

"I must go on, my friend. It is not long now.--Will you--hear me?"

And Ivan, who had become a little restless with his desire to get to
work, answered, after an instant's hesitation, in the affirmative.

"It took me a month to find a place where I dared stay; and it's taken
two years to find out just how horrible life can be. We had always been
poor enou