the city newspapers made a record of the event in their "society
column," and added that it was "understood that in their beautiful new
home Prof. and Mrs. Baker would entertain lavishly." I was inclined to
take exception to this item, which I regarded as a vulgar parade of our
private affairs; moreover, the innuendo was wholly untruthful. Alice
and I did not intend to "entertain" at all; we could not afford to
"entertain." What would Mr. Black say if by chance he were to get hold
of a copy of any of those Sunday morning newspapers and read that
mendacious paragraph? He would not only lament the one thousand
dollars which he had just advanced; worse than that, he would forever
shut down on those other acts of similar generosity which, I am free to
say, Alice and I counted among the pleasing probabilities of the near
future.

I repeat that this untruthful notoriety through the medium of the
"society column" displeased me, and I am sure I should have spoken my
mind very freely about it if I had not heard Alice reading the item
with evident gusto to her sister Adah. My amazement was increased when
Alice asked me to secure a dozen extra papers for her, as she wished to
send marked copies to certain fashionable society acquaintances and to
several other relatives in Maine! I can picture the rural astonishment
with which Cousin Jabez Fothergill of Biddeford Pool and the Strattons
of North Moosehead will read of our good fortune. I more than half
suspect that in a moment of triumphant revenge and in a spirit of cruel
malice Alice sent a copy of the paper to Miss Mears at Pocatapaug.
Miss Mears is little to me now, but once I called her Hepsival, and
even after these many years of separation I would fain undo any act of
spite which her successful rival, Alice, might attempt.

The Monday following the publication of this strangely malevolent item
was an unusually busy day with me. I seemed suddenly to have become
the target of every man who had anything to sell. I was waited upon by
fruit-tree venders, lightning-rod agents, fire underwriters, plumbers,
gas-fitters, painters, and an innumerable army of persons having
horses, cows, pigs, chickens, shade trees, patent hitching posts,
smoke-consumers, Pasteur filters, shrubbery, lawn statuary, fancy
poultry, garden utensils, and patent paving to dispose of. I really
cannot realize how I got rid of them all, for a more affable and
persuasive lot of gentlemen I never before