er as low people eat
spaghetti, making all the time a noise like a mowing-machine. David
loves that. He whistles gay tunes while it happens. He whistles while
he shaves. He cannot whistle while brushing his teeth, but he brushes
his teeth as a man might wash down a cab in a large yard with plenty
of room.

The moment it is over he whistles again. Then he does deep breathing
at the door of the dug-out. (Aeroplanes passing overhead have had
narrow escapes from being dragged into the dug-out by sheer power of
suction, when David deep-breathes.) Then he does muscle exercises. He
crooks his finger and from behind you see a muscle like a mushroom
get up suddenly in the small of his back, run up his spine and hit
him under the left ear.

Meanwhile he is whistling, and his batman is making sparks fly out
of the buttons, which he cleans with glass-paper and gun-cotton just
outside the door.

At eight, when I get carefully out of bed, David is beginning to don
his shirt. At nine we move together towards breakfast.

I am training David to say "Rah! Rah!" against the day when he and
General ROOSEVELT meet in a communication trench. I am sure they will
take to each other at once.

* * * * *

[Illustration: _Basil_. "MOTHER, I THINK SATAN MUST BE ABOUT."

_Mother_. "WHY, DEAR?"

_Basil_. "ISN'T IT SATAN THAT MAKES VERY GOOD PEOPLE FEEL BAD?"

_Mother_. "YES, DEAR."

_Basil_. "WELL, I FEEL AS IF I DIDN'T WANT TO GO AND WASH MY FACE."]

* * * * *

SAUCE FOR THE GOOSE.

["The plain truth is that there are very few jobs that
could not be done by women as well as they are being done
by men."--_Daily Paper_.]

Chloe, in the placid days
Ere the war-clouds gathered,
I was prodigal in praise
Of your charm and winning ways;
You became a cult, a craze
(Heavens, how I blathered!);
With an ardour undismayed and treacly
I proposed (without success) bi-weekly.

Now, my dear, it's up to you
To become the hero;
Show us how a man should woo
When he wills to win, and do
Teach us how to bill and coo
With our hopes at zero.
Chloe, for a change (it may amuse you),
_You_ propose to me--_and I'll refuse you_.

* * * * *

From an auction catalogue:--

"PRINCESS, Brown Mare, 7 years, 15-3, has been ridden by a
nervous person, good manners, trained to the High School,
Hant-