ts! and a child that
lies crying in the cradle, will not be satisfied without a little milk,
and perhaps sugar; though there be a small German _System_ [_of
Divinity_] in the house!

But suppose he does get into a little hole over the oven, with a lock to
it, called his Study, towards the latter end of the week: for you must
know, Sir, there are very few Texts of Scripture that can be divided, at
soonest, before Friday night; and some there be, that will never be
divided but upon Sunday morning, and that not very early, but either a
little before they go, or in the going, to church. I say, suppose the
Gentleman gets thus into his Study, one may very nearly guess what is his
first thought, when he comes there--viz., that the last kilderkin of drink
is nearly departed! that he has but one poor single groat in the house,
and there is Judgement and Execution ready to come out against it, for
milk and eggs!

Now, Sir, can any man think, that one thus racked and tortured, can be
seriously intent, half an hour, to contrive anything that might be of
real advantage to his people?

Besides, perhaps, that week, he has met with some dismal crosses and most
undoing misfortunes.

There was a scurvy-conditioned mole, that broke into his pasture, and
ploughed up the best part of his glebe. And, a little after that, came a
couple of spiteful ill-favoured crows, and trampled down the little
remaining grass. Another day, having but four chickens, sweep comes the
kite! and carries away the fattest and hopefullest of the brood. Then,
after all this, came the jackdaws and starlings (idle birds that they
are!), and they scattered and carried away from his thin thatched house,
forty or fifty of the best straws. And, to make him completely unhappy,
after all these afflictions, another day, that he had a pair of breeches
on, coming over a perverse stile, he suffered very much, in carelessly
lifting over his leg.

Now, what parish can be so inconsiderate and unreasonable as to look for
anything from one, whose fancy is thus checked, and whose understanding
is thus ruffled and disordered? They may as soon expect comfort and
consolation from him that lies racked with the gout and the stone, as
from a Divine thus broken and shattered in his fortunes!

But we will grant that he meets not with any of these such frightful
disasters; but that he goes into his study with a mind as calm as the
evening. For all that; upon Sunday, we must be content