Almighty Himself is
often in danger of being dishonoured by these indiscreet and horrid
Metaphor-mongers. And when they thus blaspheme the God of Heaven by such
unhallowed expressions; to make amends, they will put you in an "As it
were" forsooth! or "As I may so say," that is, they will make bold to
speak what they please concerning GOD Himself, rather than omit what they
judge, though never so falsely, to be witty. And then they come in
hobbling with their lame submission, and with their "reverence be it
spoken": as if it were not much better to leave out what they foresee is
likely to be interpreted for blasphemy, or at least great extravagancy;
than to utter that, for which their own reason and conscience tell them,
they are bound to lay in beforehand an excuse.

To which may be further subjoined, that Metaphors, though very apt and
allowable, are intelligible but to some sorts of men, of this or that
kind of life, of this or that profession.

For example, perhaps one Gentleman's metaphorical knack of preaching
comes of the sea; and then we shall hear of nothing but "starboard" and
"larboard," of "stems," "sterns," and "forecastles," and such salt-water
language: so that one had need take a voyage to Smyrna or Aleppo, and
very warily attend to all the sailors' terms, before I shall in the least
understand my teacher. Now, though such a sermon may possibly do some good
in a coast town; yet upward into the country, in an inland parish, it will
do no more than Syriac or Arabic.

Another, he falls a fighting with his text, and makes a pitched battle of
it, dividing it into the Right Wing and Left Wing; then he _rears_ it!
_flanks_ it! _intrenches_ it! _storms_ it! and then he _musters_ all
again! to see what word was lost or lamed in the skirmish: and so falling
on again, with fresh valour, he fights backward and forward! charges
through and through! routs! kills! takes! and then, "Gentlemen! as you
were!" Now to such of his parish as have been in the late wars, this is
not very formidable; for they do but suppose themselves at Edgehill or
Naseby, and they are not much scared at his doctrine: but as for others,
who have not had such fighting opportunities, it is very lamentable to
consider how shivering they sit without understanding, till the battle be
over!

Like instance might be easily given of many more discourses, the
metaphorical phrasing whereof, depending upon peculiar arts, customs,
trades, and professions