hout anxiety, you can but obey the decrees of God and follow the
immutable decision of fate. Such as I know you, I believe that you only
require the possession of Zelmi to be completely happy, and that you will
become one of the pillars of the Ottoman Empire."
Saying those words, Yusuf pressed me affectionately in his arms, and left
me by myself to avoid any answer I might be inclined to make. I went away
in such wonder at all I had just heard, that I found myself at the
Venetian Embassy without knowing how I had reached it. The baili thought
me very pensive, and asked whether anything was the matter with me, but I
did not feel disposed to gratify their curiosity. I found that Yusuf had
indeed spoken truly: his proposal was of such importance that it was my
duty, not only not to mention it to anyone, but even to abstain from
thinking it over, until my mind had recovered its calm sufficiently to
give me the assurance that no external consideration would weigh in the
balance and influence my decision. I had to silence all my passions;
prejudices, principles already formed, love, and even self-interest were
to remain in a state of complete inaction.
When I awoke the next morning I began to think the matter over, and I
soon discovered that, if I wanted to come to a decision, I ought not to
ponder over it, as the more I considered the less likely I should be to
decide. This was truly a case for the 'sequere Deum' of the Stoics.
I did not visit Yusuf for four days, and when I called on him on the
fifth day, we talked cheerfully without once mentioning his proposal,
although it was very evident that we were both thinking of it. We
remained thus for a fortnight, without ever alluding to the matter which
engrossed all our thoughts, but our silence was not caused by
dissimulation, or by any feeling contrary to our mutual esteem and
friendship; and one day Yusuf suggested that very likely I had
communicated his proposal to some wise friend, in order to obtain good
advice. I immediately assured him it was not so, and that in a matter of
so delicate a nature I thought I ought not to ask anybody's advice.
"I have abandoned myself to God, dear Yusuf, and, full of confidence in
Him, I feel certain that I shall decide for the best, whether I make up
my mind to become your son, or believe that I ought to remain what I am
now. In the mean time, my mind ponders over it day and night, whenever I
am quiet and feel myself composed and c
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