per. Enormous bundles! Jones
had two under each arm, and was carrying two in each hand, by loops of
string. As he tottered into the drawing room, the biggest bundle
dropped. The string broke. The wrapping yawned. Its contents gushed out.
Not only telegrams, but letters with no stamps or post-marks! They must
have been rushed frantically round to the six offices by messengers.

It was true, then, what the newspapers said: all London, all England,
yearned, pined, prayed for houses. Yet people must already be living
_somewhere_!

Literally, there were thousands of answers. To be precise, Captain
Burns, Jones, and I counted two thousand and ten replies which had
reached the six offices by noon on the first day of the advertisement:
one thousand and eight telegrams; the rest, letters dispatched by hand.
Each sender earnestly hoped that his application might be the first!
Heaven knew how many more might be _en route_! What a tribute to the
Largest Circulations!

Jones explained his delay by saying that "the stuff was coming in thick
as flies"; so he had waited until a lull fell upon each great office in
turn. When the count had been made by us, and envelopes neatly piled in
stacks of twenty-four on a large desk hastily cleared for action, Terry
sent his servant away. And then began the fun!

Yes, it was fun: "fun for the boys," if "death to the frogs." But we
hadn't gone far when between laughs we felt the pricks of conscience.
Alas for all these people who burned to possess our moated grange
"practically free," at its absurdly low rent! And the moated grange
didn't exist. Not one of the unfortunate wretches would so much as get
an answer to his S. O. S.

They were not all _Nouveaux Riches_ by any means, these eager senders of
letters and telegrams. Fearing repulse from the fastidious moat-owner,
they described themselves attractively, even by wire, at so much the
word. They were young; they were of good family; they were lately
married or going to be married. Their husbands or fathers were V. C.'s.
There was every reason why they, and they alone, should have the house.
They begged that particulars might be telegraphed. They enclosed stamps
on addressed envelopes. As the moated grange was "rich in old oak," so
did we now become rich in new stamps! Some people were willing to take
the house on its description without waiting to see it. Others assured
the advertiser that money was no object to them; he might ask what rent