or me!

Knowing something of those people outside the church doors, I have often
thought what an edifying sight it would be if the Lord deigned to listen
and take a few of them at their word. If the fearless Christ were here
on earth again, what crowds of cheats and humbugs he would drive out of
the Temple! And foremost, I fancy, would go the people who, instead of
thanking their Maker who allows the blessed sun to shine, the birds to
sing, and the flowers to grow for them here, howl and whine lies about
longing for the joy of moving on to the better world, to the "special
place" that is prepared for them. If there be a better world, it will be
too good for hypocrites.

After hymn the fifth, Dr. Talmage takes the floor. The audience settled
in their seats in evident anticipation of a good time, and it was soon
clear to me that the discourse was not to be dull at any rate. But I
waited in vain for a great thought, a lofty idea, or refined language.
There came none. Nothing but commonplaces given out with tricks of voice
and the gestures of a consummate actor. The modulations of the voice
have been studied with care, no single platform trick was missing.

The doctor comes on the stage, which is about forty feet wide. He begins
slowly. The flow of language is great, and he is never at a loss for a
word. Motionless, in his lowest tones, he puts a question to us. Nobody
replies, of course. Thereupon he paces wildly up and down the whole
length of the stage. Then, bringing up in full view of his auditors, he
stares at them, crosses his arms, gives a double and tremendous stamp on
the boards, and in a terrific voice he repeats the question, and answers
it. The desired effect is produced: he never misses fire.

Being an old stager of several years' standing myself, I admire him
professionally. Nobody is edified, nobody is regenerated, nobody is
improved, but all are entertained. It is not a divine service, but it is
a clever performance, and the Americans never fail to patronize a clever
performance. All styles go down with them. They will give a hearing to
everybody but the bore, especially on Sundays, when other forms of
entertainment are out of the running.

[Illustration: THE DESIRED EFFECT.]

It is not only the Brooklyn public that are treated to the discourses of
Dr. Talmage, but the whole of America. He syndicates his sermons, and
they are published in Monday's newspapers in all quarters of America. I
have also see