They stuck a cable-car to his feet,
An' one to his head, a goin' up street,
An' then they pulled him opposite ways,
An' they pulled him for days 'n' days 'n' days,
An' they drored him out so slim an' small
That he reached a _mile 'n' a half_, in all.

An' that was the end o' the CHEWIN'-GUM MAN
For Willie, an' Wallie, an' Huldy Ann.
They come along with an ax next day,
An' chopped him up, and guv him away.

[Illustration]

[Illustration]

My Feet they haul me 'round the House;
They hoist me up the Stairs;
I only have to steer them and
They ride me everywheres.

[Illustration]

I'd never dare to walk across
A Bridge I could not see,
For quite afraid of falling off
I fear that I should be!

_ADULT'S DEPARTMENT:_

Oh, Willie and Wallie and Pinkie Jane!
They run away with a Railroad Train!
'T was Wallie got up the ridiculous plan,--
'T was most as good as the Chewin'-Gum Man!
Wallie is terribul funny--My!
He can make up a face that would make you die,
An' when Pinkie Jane come down to the city
He tried to show off, for she's awful pretty.
So they all went over across the Bay,
To have a picnic, and spend the day.
At Sixteenth Street they got off the cars
A-grinnin' an' giggling so,--My Stars!
A Enormus Crowd begun to collect,
But nobuddy knew just what to expect.
Then up the track come a little spot,
An' nearer and nearer and NEARER it got,
And Willie and Wallie and Pinkie Jane
Stood right in the road of the Overland Train!!!
The folks on the platform begun to yell,
"_Look out!--get off!!_" an' the engine bell

[Illustration]

_THE RUNAWAY TRAIN_:

Was ringin' like mad,--but them children stood
As calm as if they was made of wood!
And a great big fat man yelled,--"_Oh Golly!
For Heaven's sakes, just look at Wallie!_"
As the train came thunderin' down the rail,
The wimmin all turned terribul pale.
But Wallie he stood there, stiff 's a soldier,
An' then (you remember what I told yer)
He made up a horribul face,--and whack!
He SCARED THE ENGINE RIGHT OFF'N THE TRACK!
An' the train jumped forreds an' squirmed around,
A-wrigglin' an' jigglin' over the ground;
And all the people they had to git,
For the blame old engine it had a fit!
But when the train got