d off, I was
presented to a young female, to whom Nature had been tolerably kind, but
who was most shamefully dressed. In fact her dress couldn't have cost
over a thousand dollars--one of my chambermaids going to a Teutonia ball
is better got up. This young person asked me 'how I liked the Germania?'
Taking it for granted that such a badly dressed young woman must be a
school teacher, with perhaps classical tastes, I replied that it was one
of the most pleasing compositions of Tacitus, and that I occasionally
read it of a morning. 'Oh, it's not very taciturn,' she replied; 'I mean
the band.' 'Very true,' said I, 'he says _agmen_, which you translate
band very happily, though I might possibly say 'body' in a familiar
reading.' 'Oh dear,' she replied, blushing, 'I'm sure I don't know what
kind of men they are, nor anything about their bodies, but they
certainly seem very respectable, and they play elegantly; oh, don't you
think so?' 'I am glad you are pleased so easily,' I answered; 'Tacitus
describes their performances as indeed fearful, and calculated to strike
horror into the hearts of their enemies. But,' continued I, endeavoring
to make my retreat, for I began to think I was in company with an inmate
of a private lunatic hospital, 'they were devoted to the ladies.'
'Indeed they are,' said she,'and the harpist is _so_ gallant, and gets
so many nice bouquets.' It then flashed across my mind that she meant
the Germania musicians. 'They might do passably well, madame,' said I,
'for a quadrille party at a country inn, but for a dress ball or a
dinner you would need three of them rolled into one.' 'Oh, you gentlemen
are so hard to please,' she replied; and catching sight of the
Koh-i-noor on my little finger, she began to smile so sweetly that I
fled at once.

It was at that party that I perspired. I had heard doctors talk about
perspiration, and I had seen waiters at a dinner with little drops on
their faces, but I supposed it was the effect of a spatter, or that some
champagne had flown into their eyes, or something of that sort. But at
this party I happened to pass a mirror, and did it the honor to look
into it. I saw there the best dressed man in America, but his face was
flushed, and there were drops on it. This is fearful, thought I; I took
my _mouchoir_ and gently removed them. They dampened the delicate
fabric, and I shook with agitation. The large doors were open, and after
a struggle of an hour and three quarters