devour me. I am persuaded, however, that it would equally
have caught me if I had run away. There is something, however,
in every view of it which agonises me. I am anxious beyond
imagination to know what passes in England upon it and conclude
I shall by the next newspaper. Would it be impossible to prevail
upon the King to listen to the idea of a sort of Barrier-treaty
for Hanover, which would give Prussia a military frontier but
not the territorial possession?[752]

On 8th December, after hearing the first news of Austerlitz, he writes
in equally dolorous strains, concluding with a request that Pitt would
send a frigate to the mouth of the Elbe to bring away his coffin. Again
he writes in these pathetic terms:

_Most secret._
Berlin, _12 Dec. 1805_.[753]

DEAR PITT,

The current of events has been so rapid, and the embarrassments
they produce from every quarter is [_sic_] so intolerable, that,
weakened as my brain has been by nervous spasms of giddiness, I
hardly keep my senses. Cool judgment is required; and I can only
take steps in a state of agitation--repent; and there is
something more to be repented of. I shall not long stand it;
but, in the meantime, what mischief may not have happened! The
sacrifice of myself is nothing. All is over with me even if I
survive. I am tolerably at intervals, but every fresh occurrence
brings with it distraction. I tremble at the consequences. You
can conceive no state of mind, or rather of mind and body
operating upon each other; you cannot even pity it; you can only
despise it. Good God. If it be possible, do not betray me. I may
recover. I try to disguise my feelings. I write to my wife with
affected cheerfulness. She would not survive. For heaven's sake,
keep this to yourself.

Yours ever,
HARROWBY.

To what mistake Harrowby here alludes is a mystery. But George Jackson
states that he had three fits at Berlin, besides spasms every day.
Indeed his state was so pitiable that his selection for this difficult
post was matter of general comment. The physicians strongly urged him to
return to England at once.[754] Pitt cannot have received Harrowby's
pathetic confession when he replied as follows, probably to the letter
of the 8th: