g
touches for which my fingers yearn and quiver....

Yes, a dip in the sea will calm me.

I will undress in the house and wrap myself in my dressing-gown. Then I
can slip through the pine-trees unseen....

* * * * *

It was glorious, glorious! What do I want a bathing-hut for? I go into
the sea straight from my own garden, and the sand is soft and firm to my
feet like the pine-needles under the trees.

The sea is phosphorescent; I seemed to be dipping my arms in liquid
silver. I longed to splash about and make sparkles all around me. But I
was very cautious. I swam only as far as the stakes to which the
fishermen fasten their nets. The moon seemed to be suspended just over
my head.

I thought of Malthe.

Ah, for one night! Just one night!

* * * * *

Jeanne has given me warning. I asked her why she wished to leave. She
only shook her head and made no answer. She was very pale; I did not
like to force her to speak.

It will be very difficult to replace her. On the other hand, how can I
keep her if she has made up her mind to go? Wages are no attraction to
her. If I only knew what she wanted. I have not inquired where she is
going.

* * * * *

Ah, now I understand! It is the restlessness of the senses. She wants
more life than she can get on this island. She knows I see through her,
and casts her eyes downward when I look at her.

JOERGEN MALTHE,

You are the only man I ever loved. And now, by means of this letter, I
am digging a fathomless pit between us. I am not the woman you thought
me; and my true self you could never love.

I am like a criminal who has had recourse to every deceit to avoid
confession, but whose strength gives way at last under the pressure of
threats and torture, and who finds unspeakable relief in declaring his
guilt.

Joergen Malthe, I have loved you for the last ten years; as long, in
fact, as you have loved me. I lied to you when I denied it; but my heart
has been faithful all through.

Had I remained any longer in Richard's house, I should have come to you
one day and asked you to let me be your mistress. Not your wife. Do not
contradict me. I am the stronger and wiser of the two.

To escape from this risk I ran away. I fled from my love--I fled, too,
from my age. I am now forty-three, you know it well, and you are only
thirty-five.

By this voluntary renunciation, I hop