well, start 'em at five.
Any advance on five? (_To_ Assist.) Turn 'em round, to show the back
view. And a 'arf! Six! And a 'arf! Only six and a 'arf bid for this
beautiful pair of figures, done direct from nature by BIMBI. Come,
Gentlemen, come! Seven! Was that _you_, Mr. GRIMES? (_The Grubby Man
admits the soft impeachment._) Seven and a 'arf. Eight! It's _against_
you.

_Mr. Grimes_ (_with a supreme effort_). Two-and-six!

[_Mops his brow with a red cotton handkerchief._

_Auct._ (_in a tone of gratitude for the smallest mercies_).
Eight-ten-six. All done at eight-ten-six? Going ... gone! GRIMES,
Eight, ten, six. Take money for 'em. Now we come to a very 'andsome
work by PIFFALINI--"_The Ocarina Player_," one of this great artist's
masterpieces, and an exceedingly choice and high-class work, as you
will all agree directly you see it. (_To Assist._) Now, then, Lot 14,
there--look sharp!

_Stolid Assist._ "Hocarina Plier," eyn't arrived, Sir.

_Auct._ Oh, hasn't it? Very well, then. Lot 15. "_The Pretty
Pill-taker_," by ANTONIO BILIO--a really magnificent work of Art,
Gentlemen. (_"Pill-taker, 'ere!" from the S.A._) What'll you give
me for her? Come, make me an offer. (_Bidding proceeds till the
"Pill-taker" is knocked down for twenty-three-and-a-half guineas._)
Lot 16, "_The Mixture as Before_," by same artist--make a charming
and suitable companion to the last lot. What do you say, Mr.
MIDDLEMAN--take it at the same bidding? (Mr. M. _assents, with the
end of one eyebrow._) Any advance on twenty-three and a 'arf? None?
Then.--MIDDLEMAN, Twenty-four, thirteen, six.

_Mr. Middleman_ (_to the Amiable Spectator, who has been vaguely
inspecting the "Pill-taker."_) Don't know if you noticed it, Sir, but
I got that last couple very cheap--on'y forty-seven guineas the pair,
and they are worth eighty, I solemnly declare to you. I could get
forty a-piece for 'em to-morrow, upon my word and honour, I could. Ah,
and I know who'd _give_ it me for 'em, too!

_The A.S._ (_sympathetically_). Dear me, then you've done very well
over it.

_Mr. M._ Ah, well ain't the word--and those two aren't the only lots
I've got either. That "_Sandwich-Man_" over there is mine--look at
the work in those boards, and the nature in his clay pipe; and "_The
Boot-Black_," that's mine, too--all worth twice what _I_ got 'em
for--and lovely things, too, ain't they?

_The A.S._ Oh, very nice, very clever--congratulate you, I'm sure.

_Mr. M