ions, had maintained the entire liberty of his heart, and tho'
never insensible of beauty, had never been enslaved by it, was now by
charms he least suspected, and at an age when he believed himself proof
against all the attacks of love, subdued without knowing that he was
so.--The tender passion stole into his soul by imperceptible degrees,
and under the shape of friendship and paternal affection, met with no
opposition from his reason, till it became too violent to be restrained;
then showed itself in the whole power of restless wishes, fears, hopes,
and impatiences, which he had often heard others complain of, but not
till now experienced in himself: all that he before had felt of love was
languid, at best aimed only at enjoyment, and in the gratification of
that desire was extinguished; but the passion he was possessed of for
Louisa was of a different nature, and accompanied with a respect which
would not suffer him to entertain a thought in prejudice of her
innocence.
Many reasons, besides his natural aversion to marriage, concurred to
hinder him from making her his wife; and as there were yet more to deter
him from being the instrument of her dishonour, the situation of his
mind was very perplexing.--He blushed within himself at the inclinations
he had for a girl whom he had always behaved to as a child of his own,
and who looked upon him as a father: not only the disparity of their
years made him consider the passion he was possessed of as ridiculous,
there was one circumstance, which, if at any time a thought of marrying
her entered into his head, immediately extirpated it, which was, that
there was a possibility of her being born not only of the meanest, but
the vilest parents, who, on hearing her establishment, might appear and
claim the right they had in her; and lo, said he, I shall ally myself
to, perhaps, a numerous family of vagabonds; at least, whether it be so
or not, the manner in which these children were exposed, being publicly
known, may furnish a pretence for any wretch to boast a kindred.
He was therefore determined to suppress a passion, which, as he had too
much honour to seek the gratification of by one way, his prudence and
character in the world would not allow him to think of by the other: and
as absence seemed to him the best remedy, he sent her down into the
country again with a precipitation, which made her (wholly ignorant of
the real motive) fear she had done something to offend him.
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