mention first the one they
mustn't take, then pause, look archly at them, and mention the one they
must take. Thus:

Q. --Now, dear children, I wonder if you can tell me where the sun
rises. In the north, doesn't it?

A. --Yes, sir.

Q. --Yes, you are right. In the north. And because it rises in the north
every afternoon at three, how do we walk about? On our feet, do we?

A. --No, sir.

Q. --No. Of course not. Then how is it we do walk about? On our ears
or--(now the look) on our noses?

A. --On our noses.

This method, if carefully and systematically employed, was never known
to fail. It is called the Socratic method.

The most interesting feature of the monthly Sabbath-school concert is
universally conceded to be the treasurer's report. So much on hand at
the last meeting, so much contributed by each class during the month
last past, so much expended, so much left on hand at present. We used
to sit and listen to it with slack jaws and staring eyes. Money, money,
oceans of money! Thirty-eight cents and seventy-six cents and a dollar
four cents! My!

The librarian's report was nowhere. It was a bully library, too, and
contained the "Through by Daylight" Series, and the "Ragged Dick"
Series, and the "Tattered Tom" Series, and the "Frank on the Gunboat"
Series, and the "Frank the Young Naturalist" Series, and the "Elm
Island" Series--Did you ever read "The Ark of Elm Island", and "Giant
Ben of Elm Island"? You didn't? Ah, you missed it--and the "B. O. W. C."
Series--and say! there was a book in that library--oo-oo! "Cast up
by the Sea," all about wreckers, and false lights on the shore, and
adventures in Central Africa, and there's a nigger queen that wants to
marry him, and he don't want to because he loves a girl in England--I
think that's kind of soft--and he kills about a million of them trying
to get away. You want to get that book. Don't let them give you "Patient
Henry" or "Charlie Watson, the Drunkard's Little Son." They're about
boys that take sick and die--no good.

It was a bully library, but the report wasn't interesting. Major
Humphreys's always was. He was the treasurer because he worked in the
bank. He came from the Western Reserve, and said "cut" when he meant
coat, and "hahnt" when he meant heart. I can shut my eyes and hear
him read his report now: "Infant-class, Mrs. Sarah M. Boggs, one
dolla thutty-eight cents; Miss Dan'ells's class, fawty-six cents; Miss
Goldrick's class, twenty-faw ce