u please. You are too
familiar."

"I don't like such titles. I am willing to call you, sir. That is as far
as--"

"We will have no argument about this. Just obey, that is all. Go on with
your chatter."

"Very well, my lord--since nothing but my lord will suit you--I was
going to ask you how long you will be visible to me?"

"Always!"

I broke out with strong indignation: "This is simply an outrage. That is
what I think of it! You have dogged, and dogged, and dogged me, all the
days of my life, invisible. That was misery enough, now to have such a
looking thing as you tagging after me like another shadow all the rest
of my day is an intolerable prospect. You have my opinion my lord, make
the most of it."

"My lad, there was never so pleased a conscience in this world as I was
when you made me visible. It gives me an inconceivable advantage. Now I
can look you straight in the eye, and call you names, and leer at you,
jeer at you, sneer at you; and you know what eloquence there is in
visible gesture and expression, more especially when the effect is
heightened by audible speech. I shall always address you henceforth in
your o-w-n s-n-i-v-e-l-i-n-g d-r-a-w-l--baby!"

I let fly with the coal-hod. No result. My lord said:

"Come, come! Remember the flag of truce!"

"Ah, I forgot that. I will try to be civil; and you try it, too, for a
novelty. The idea of a civil conscience! It is a good joke; an excellent
joke. All the consciences I have ever heard of were nagging, badgering,
fault-finding, execrable savages! Yes; and always in a sweat about some
poor little insignificant trifle or other--destruction catch the lot
of them, I say! I would trade mine for the smallpox and seven kinds of
consumption, and be glad of the chance. Now tell me, why is it that a
conscience can't haul a man over the coals once, for an offense, and
then let him alone? Why is it that it wants to keep on pegging at him,
day and night and night and day, week in and week out, forever and ever,
about the same old thing? There is no sense in that, and no reason in
it. I think a conscience that will act like that is meaner than the very
dirt itself."

"Well, WE like it; that suffices."

"Do you do it with the honest intent to improve a man?"

That question produced a sarcastic smile, and this reply:

"No, sir. Excuse me. We do it simply because it is 'business.' It is
our trade. The purpose of it is to improve the man, but we are merely
disin