his affairs--no, not of any kind whatever, except that of the
loss of his wife and one of his children, which indeed had troubled him
much; but that this was no part of what he had to offer me, and by
granting which I should balance all obligations; but that, in short, it
was that, seeing Providence had (as it were for that purpose) taken his
wife from him, I would make up the loss to him; and with that he held me
fast in his arms, and, kissing me, would not give me leave to say no,
and hardly to breathe.

At length, having got room to speak, I told him that, as I had said
before, I could deny him but one thing in the world; I was very sorry he
should propose that thing only that I could not grant.

I could not but smile, however, to myself that he should make so many
circles and roundabout motions to come at a discourse which had no such
rarity at the bottom of it, if he had known all. But there was another
reason why I resolved not to have him, when, at the same time, if he had
courted me in a manner less honest or virtuous, I believe I should not
have denied him; but I shall come to that part presently.

He was, as I have said, long a-bringing it out, but when he had brought
it out he pursued it with such importunities as would admit of no
denial; at least he intended they should not; but I resisted them
obstinately, and yet with expressions of the utmost kindness and respect
for him that could be imagined, often telling him there was nothing else
in the world that I could deny him, and showing him all the respect, and
upon all occasions treating him with intimacy and freedom, as if he had
been my brother.

He tried all the ways imaginable to bring his design to pass, but I was
inflexible. At last he thought of a way which, he flattered himself,
would not fail; nor would he have been mistaken, perhaps, in any other
woman in the world but me. This was, to try if he could take me at an
advantage and get to bed to me, and then, as was most rational to think,
I should willingly enough marry him afterwards.

We were so intimate together that nothing but man and wife could, or at
least ought, to be more; but still our freedoms kept within the bounds
of modesty and decency. But one evening, above all the rest, we were
very merry, and I fancied he pushed the mirth to watch for his
advantage, and I resolved that I would at least feign to be as merry as
he; and that, in short, if he offered anything he should have his will