his little fingers
on his lips, as I spoze he'd seen me do, and whispered: "Keep still,
Grandma; I don't know what Grandpa is doin'."

I looked over his shoulder and thought to myself I should think as
much, I should think he wouldn't know. There stood Josiah Allen before
the glass and of all the sights I ever see his dress went ahead. He
had got on a red woolen underskirt and his dressin' gown over it
kinder floated back from it, and he had took out of my trunk a switch
of hair that Tirzah Ann had put in, thinkin' mebby I would want to
dress my head different in foreign countries; I hadn't wore it at all,
and it wuz clear in the bottom of my trunk, but he had got at it
somehow and had fastened it onto his head, and it hung down his back
and ended with a big broad, red ribbin bow; it was one of Tommy's
neck-ties. And he'd got all my jewelry--every mite on't--and had
fastened it onto him on different places, and all of Tommy's ribbins
to tie his collar with, wuz made into bows and pinned onto him, and my
C. E. badge and W. C. T. U. bow of white ribbin, and he had got my big
palm leaf fan and had tied a big, red bow on't, and he wuz standin'
before the glass fannin' himself and cranin' his neck one way and
tother to see how he looked and admire himself, I spoze. And anon he
tried to put the fan over his right ear. The idee! a palm leaf fan
that wouldn't shet. And he spoke out to himself:

"No, I can't do that, but I can be fannin' myself, all the time
fannin' and bowin'." And then he stepped forrerd towards the glass and
made a bow so low that his switch flopped over and ketched on the
rocker of a chair and he couldn't move either way without jerkin' his
braid off.

"Goodness gracious!" I hearn him say, "I never yet tried to be genteel
without its being broke up some way," and he gin a jerk and left his
switch on the floor. He took it up tenderly and smoothed it out and
wuz tryin' to attach it to his head agin. It wuz fastened on by a red
ribbin comin' up over his head and tied on top. But at that minute he
ketched sight of me and he looked some meachin', but he begun
immegiately pourin' our profuse reasons for his costoom and manners.

Sez he, "You know, Robert wants us to meet that high official, and I
felt that it would help our relations with China if I should dress up
China fashion."

Sez I, "It will help one of your relations if you'll take off that
red petticoat of hern, and ribbins and cameos and badges and