"I'm very sorry," said the Rat humbly. "Only I _think_ it ought to be
'teach 'em,' not 'learn 'em.'"

"But we don't _want_ to teach 'em," replied the Badger. "We want to
_learn_ 'em--learn 'em, learn 'em! And what's more, we're going to
_do_ it, too!"

"Oh, very well, have it your own way," said the Rat. He was getting
rather muddled about it himself, and presently he retired into a
corner, where he could be heard muttering, "Learn 'em, teach 'em,
teach 'em, learn 'em!" till the Badger told him rather sharply to
leave off.

Presently the Mole came tumbling into the room, evidently very pleased
with himself. "I've been having such fun!" he began at once; "I've
been getting a rise out of the stoats!"

"I hope you've been very careful, Mole?" said the Rat anxiously.

"I should hope so, too," said the Mole confidently. "I got the idea
when I went into the kitchen, to see about Toad's breakfast being kept
hot for him. I found that old washerwoman-dress that he came home in
yesterday, hanging on a towel-horse before the fire. So I put it on,
and the bonnet as well, and the shawl, and off I went to Toad Hall, as
bold as you please. The sentries were on the look-out, of course, with
their guns and their 'Who comes there?' and all the rest of their
nonsense. 'Good morning, gentlemen!' says I, very respectful. 'Want
any washing done to-day?' They looked at me very proud and stiff and
haughty, and said, 'Go away, washerwoman! We don't do any washing on
duty.' 'Or any other time?' says I. Ho, ho, ho! Wasn't I _funny_,
Toad?"

"Poor, frivolous animal!" said Toad, very loftily. The fact is, he
felt exceedingly jealous of Mole for what he had just done. It was
exactly what he would have liked to have done himself, if only he had
thought of it first, and hadn't gone and overslept himself.

"Some of the stoats turned quite pink," continued the Mole, "and the
Sergeant in charge, he said to me, very short, he said, 'Now run away,
my good woman, run away! Don't keep my men idling and talking on their
posts.' 'Run away?' says I; 'it won't be me that'll be running away,
in a very short time from now!'"

"O _Moly_, how could you?" said the Rat, dismayed.

The Badger laid down his paper.

"I could see them pricking up their ears and looking at each other,"
went on the Mole; "and the Sergeant said to them, 'Never mind _her_;
she doesn't know what she's talking about.'"

"'O! don't I?' said I. 'Well, let me tell you this. My dau