peating things from one party to another, of retailing
political gossip, and of the appearance of worming myself into
the confidence of individuals of one side, and then betraying it
to those of another; that I would not therefore make the
slightest use of what he had told me without his entire
permission, and whatever I might say, I should faithfully report
to him. He, who knows me, was quite satisfied; but others might
not be. Then I have the greatest doubt to whom I should speak.
The only individuals I can think of are the Duke, Fitzgerald,
Graham, Wharncliffe, or Peel himself. Peel himself would be the
most direct, but he is so cold, dry, and unsatisfactory, I know
not how he would take it, and he would very likely suspect me of
some design, some _arriere pensee_, some purpose of founding on
this service a title to his intimacy, or his patronage and
assistance--in short, some selfish, personal object. Whereas I
hope and believe that I am not actuated by any puerile vanity in
this matter, or the ambition of acting a part, however humble and
subordinate, but that I have no object but to render my personal
position instrumental to a great and good purpose.

April 7th, 1839 {p.184}

I sent for Clarendon, and consulted him what I should do. He
advised me to speak to Peel at once, but first to ascertain
whether John Russell certainly remained in the same mind, because
Ben Stanley reports to the Cabinet that they will have so certain
a majority that their drooping spirits have been rather raised,
and it will never do for me to run the risk of deceiving Peel in
any way. I shall do nothing for the present, but turn it in my
mind. There is a moral or religious precept of oriental origin
which is applicable to politics as well as to morals and
religion, and which should, I think, be ever present to the mind:
'When you are in doubt whether an action is good or bad, abstain
from it.' I believe this is the safest and wisest maxim with
reference to sayings and doings: if you have serious doubts
whether it is advisable to do a particular thing, or to say a
particular thing, neither do, nor say; do nothing, say nothing.
Of course, if you must do or say something, and the only choice
is _what_, it is another thing. I believe, when the mind is
disturbed and is oscillating with doubts of this kind, it is that
vanity is whispering at one ear and prudence at the other; but
then prudence almost always takes the deaf ear, and so vani