motion was defeated by 269 to 205.]

April 2nd, 1838 {p.085}

[Page Head: BIRTHDAY REFLEXIONS.]

My birthday. Another year has stolen over me, and finds me, I
fear, little better or wiser than at the end of the last. How we
wince at our reflexions and still go on in the same courses! how
we resolve and break our resolutions! It is a common error to
wish we could recall the past and be young again, and swear what
things we would do if another opportunity was offered us. All
vanity, folly, and falsehood. We _should_ do just the same as
before, because we _do_ actually do the same; we linger over and
regret the past instead of setting manfully to work to improve
the future; we waste present time in vague and useless regrets,
and abandon ourselves to inaction in despair instead of gathering
up what yet remains of life, and finding a compensation, however
inadequate, in resolute industry for our losses. I wonder if
anybody has ever done this. Many after damaging their health have
become prudent and careful in restoring their shattered
constitutions; many more have been extravagant and careless, and
ended by being parsimonious and prudent, and so the first have
grown strong and the second rich; but has anybody thoroughly
wasted his time, frittered away his understanding, weakened the
powers of judgement and memory, and let his mind be bare and
empty as the shelves of an unfurnished bookcase, and afterwards
become diligent, thoughtful, reflective, a hater of idleness,
and, what is worse, of indolence, and habitually addicted to
worthy and useful pursuits? I do not think I can call to mind any
instance of such a reformation.

I went to Newmarket on Saturday. Mutable as this climate is, the
greatest variation I ever saw was between Friday and Sunday last.
On Friday S.W. wind, balmy air like June, and the trees beginning
to bud; on Sunday the ground was completely covered with snow,
not a particle of any colour but white to be seen, a bitter N.E.
wind, and so it continued till the sun melted away the thin coat
of snow, which disappeared as suddenly as if it had been swept
away.

The Ministers got a pretty good majority, all things considered,
on Friday. Gladstone made a first-rate speech in defence of the
planters, which places him in the front rank in the House of
Commons, so Fazakerly told me; he converted or determined many
adverse or doubtful votes, as did Sir George Grey the day before.

April 5th, 18