, you might as well
die, because the doctor won't take a case he can't think over a week."
"Nice arrangement, that," said I, scornfully. "It may do very well for
immortals, but for a mortal it's pretty poor business."
The maid's manner underwent an immediate change.
[Illustration: "'THEN YOU MUST DIE'"]
"Excuse me, sir," she said, making me a courtesy. "I did not know you
were a mortal. I presumed you were a minor god. The doctor will see
you at once."
I was ushered into the consulting-room immediately--in fact, too
quickly. I wanted to thank the pretty maid for taking me for an
immortal. There was no time for this, however, for in a moment
AEsculapius himself appeared.
"You must pardon Alcestis," he said, after the first greetings were
over. "She is new to the business and doesn't know a god from a hole
in the ground. She presumed you were immortal and did not realize the
emergency."
"That's all right, doctor," said I, glad to learn who the entrancing
person at the door was. "I've called to see you because--"
"Pray be silent," the doctor interrupted, holding his hand up in
admonition. "Let me discover your symptoms for myself. It is the surer
method. Physicians in your world are frequently led astray by placing
too much reliance upon what their patients tell them. I have devised a
new system. _Believe nothing the patient says._ See? If a man tells me
he has a headache, I send him to a chiropodist. If his ankle pains
him, I send him to an oculist. If he says his chest is oppressed, I
have him treated for spinal meningitis; and an alleged pain in the
back my assistants cure by placing a mustard plaster on the throat."
"Then your medical principles are based on what, doctor?" I asked,
somewhat amused.
"A simple motto which prevails among you mortals: 'All men are
liars'--'Omnes homines mendaces sunt.' It is safer than your accepted
methods below. A sick man is the last man in the universe to describe
his symptoms accurately. The mere fact that he is ill distorts his
judgment. Therefore, I never allow it. If I can't find out for myself
what is the matter with a patient, I give up the case."
"And the patient dies?" I suggested.
"Not if he is an immortal," he replied, quietly. "Come over here," he
added, indicating a spot near the window where there was a strong
light. I went, and AEsculapius, taking a pair of eye-glasses from a
cabinet in one corner of his apartment, placed them on the bridge of
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