ion. I besought Mr. Chiffinch to let me go abroad again, but he
forbade me very emphatically; and I owed so much to him that I could not
find it in my heart to disobey. For so desperate was I, at the ruin of
all my hopes, that the thought even came to me that I would go back and
try to be a monk again; for how, thought I, can I keep my word even to
Dolly herself? Every prospect I had was ruined; my coronet was gone like
the dream which it had always been; I had failed lamentably and
hopelessly; and it was through her father's treachery and malice that
all had come about. This I felt in my heaviest moods; but Mr. Chiffinch
would hear none of it. He said that it was but a question of time, and
His Majesty would come round once more; that he would never be content
until I was reinstated; that he had not for an instant lost heart.
Besides, he said, I was of use in another way, and that was to make
Hoskyns disclose himself. Hoskyns would never rest, he said, till he had
made at least one more attempt upon me; and next time, he hoped, he
would catch him at it, and get rid of the fellow once and for all.

Neither could I even go to Hare Street; for how could I live again even
for an hour in the house of my Cousin who had betrayed me? I could not
even tell Dolly all that had fallen; for I was as sure as of anything in
the world that her father would tell her nothing, and I did not have the
heart to disgrace him in her eyes. I but wrote to her that I was a
little out of favour with His Majesty at present, though I kept my
lodgings, and that I must not stir from Court till I had regained my
position. Meanwhile I reserved what I had to say to my Cousin Tom, until
I should meet with him alone. I had no doubt whatever that he had done
what he had, thinking to get rid of me as his daughter's lover.

The time dragged then very heavily; for I did not care to go much into
the society of others, and had nowhere else to go, since I must not
leave Whitehall; for it soon became known that I was out of favour,
though I do not suppose that the reason was ever named. I spent my days
principally in my own lodgings, and did a good deal of private work for
Mr. Chiffinch, which occupied me. I went to the play sometimes, taking
my man James with me; and I rode out with him usually, down Chelsea way,
or to the north, coming back for dinner or supper. I never went alone,
by Mr. Chiffinch's urgent desire.

* * * * *