to what all those events tended. I had come from a monk's life that
I might taste what the world was like; I had tasted and found it very
bitter; there was not one affair--(for so it appeared to me then)--that
had not failure written all over it. Very well then; I would go back to
the monk's life once more if they would have me. On the third day, then,
I had written to my Lord Abbot at St. Paul's-without-the-Walls, telling
him that I was coming back again, and had thrown up my affairs here.

"You were right, my Lord," I wrote at the end of it, "and I was wrong.
My Vocation seems very plain to me now; and I would to God that I had
seen it sooner, or at the least been more humble to Your Lordship's
opinion."

At first I had thought that I would take no leave of the King; and had
told Mr. Chiffinch so, after I had announced to him what my intentions
were, and announced them too in such a manner that he scarcely even
attempted to dissuade me from them. But he had begged me to take my
leave in proper form; no harm would be done by that; and then he had
told me that His Majesty knew all that had passed and was very sorry for
it.

I sat silent when he said that.

"Yes, Mr. Mallock," he said again, "and I mean not only for your own
sorrow, but for his own treatment of you. It hath been a whim with him:
he treats often so those whom he loves. His Majesty hath something of a
woman in him, in that matter. His suspicions were real enough, at least
for a time."

"I had done better if I had been one of his enemies, then," said I.

"It is of no use to be bitter, sir," said the page. "Men are what they
are. We would all be otherwise, no doubt, if we could. See the King, Mr.
Mallock, I beg of you: and appear once at least at Court, publicly. You
should allow him at least to make amends."

I gave a great sigh.

"Well: it shall be so," I said. "But I must leave town on Tuesday."

* * * * *

It was with a very strange sense of detachment that I went about my
affairs all Friday and Saturday; for I had still plenty to do, and was
not to see His Majesty till the Saturday night after supper. The weather
was turned soft again, and we had sunshine for an hour or two. On one
day I watched His Majesty go to dinner, with his guards about him, and
his gentlemen; but I did not see it with the pleasure I had once had in
such brave sights. It was with me, during those days, as it had been
with me for those two