you everything at cost price, and if you wish, will give you
ten kopecks rebate on the ruble.'

"'No, my dear sir,' said Mairam, embarrassed. 'Can one sell a souvenir
of the Czar, and one of such great value? We have no occasion to do it.
We are no Jews, to sell off everything, to turn into money whatever
comes into our hands. Are we such poor beggars that we cannot have
something good and valuable in our chest? No, Mr. John, what you say
seems to me to be very singular. You are rich, yet you say that you have
never in your life seen a gold watch nor a ring set with brilliants. It
seems to me a fine new custom that one must immediately have what one
sees. No, dear sir, cast not your eyes upon our property; be content
with what you have.'

"'Mrs. Mairam,' said the scoundrel, smirking, 'why are you so angry? May
one not joke with you?'

"'A fine joke!' I said, putting in my oar. 'You looked at the trees, and
you will at once tear them down. You fell on the fruit like a wolf. You
saw the garden, and at once wanted to buy. Now you want the ring, and
will exchange for it your wares. What sort of tomfoolery are you talking
to us? You are either crazy yourself or will make others so. The apple
falls not far from the stem--one sees that in you.'

"'Aunt Hripsime, why are you so cross? Dare one not jest?'

"'Enough, enough; I understand your joke very well,' I cried
indignantly.

"Yes, we women scolded him right well, but Sarkis said no earthly word.
He sat there dumb and speechless as the stick in my hand. The Lord God
gave him a tongue to speak with, but, dear heaven, he sat there like a
clod and never uttered a syllable. I was like to burst with wrath.

"Then that unscrupulous fellow repeated his speech. 'Don't you
understand a joke? Have you, then, no sense of fun?' He would have
struck us over the ear, and that the fellow called a joke! And how the
creature looked! His face was like a drum-skin. It was as though someone
had wiped off the holy oil from this grimacing mask with a butcher's
sponge. Yes, here you see how people become rich; how they get hold of
other people's property. Conscience hunts the scoundrel to the deuce: he
lets his skin grow thick; feigns outwardly to be dull; if anyone spits
in his face he regards it only as a May-shower; if anyone goes for him
for his rascality, he takes it as a joke. And so the rascals become
rich! One must be born to those things, that's the way I see it.

"If you knew a