d it; and imposed upon myself to read
awhile every morning and every night; not binding myself to the number
of chapters, but as long as my thoughts should engage me. It was not
long after I set seriously to this work, that I found my heart more
deeply and sincerely affected with the wickedness of my past life. The
impression of my dream revived; and the words, "All these things have
not brought thee to repentance," ran seriously in my thoughts. I was
earnestly begging of God to give me repentance, when it happened
providentially, the very same day, that, reading the scripture, I came
to these words, "He is exalted a Prince and a Saviour; to give
repentance, and to give remission." I threw down the book; and with my
heart as well as my hands lifted up to heaven, in a kind of ecstasy of
joy, I cried out aloud, "Jesus, thou son of David! Jesus, thou exalted
Prince and Saviour! give me repentance!" This was the first time in all
my life I could say, in the true sense of the words, that I prayed; for
now I prayed with a sense of my condition, and with a true scripture
view of hope, founded on the encouragement of the word of God: and from
this time, I may say, I began to have hope that God would hear me.

Now I began to construe the words mentioned above, "Call on me, and I
will deliver thee," in a different sense from what I had ever done
before; for then I had no notion of any thing being called
_deliverance_, but my being delivered from the captivity I was in: for
though I was indeed at large in the place, yet the island was certainly
a prison to me, and that in the worst sense in the world. But now I
learned to take it in another sense: now I looked back upon my past life
with such horror, and my sins appeared so dreadful, that my soul sought
nothing of God but deliverance from the load of guilt that bore down all
my comfort. As for my solitary life, it was nothing; I did not so much
as pray to be delivered from it, or think of it; it was all of no
consideration, in comparison with this. And I add this part here, to
hint to whoever shall read it, that whenever they come to a true sense
of things, they will find deliverance from sin a much greater blessing
than deliverance from affliction. But, leaving this part, I return to
my Journal.

My condition began now to be, though not less miserable as to my way of
living, yet much easier to my mind: and my thoughts being directed, by
constantly reading the Scripture and prayi