finding opportunities to advertise me of their
situation; and at the same time demonstrated the injury my charmer's
reputation must suffer from my precipitate retreat. I was convinced and
composed by these considerations: I appeared in public with an air of
tranquillity, was well received by the best company in town, and,
my misfortune taking air, condoled accordingly: while I had the
satisfaction of seeing Melinda so universally discountenanced that she
was fain to return to London, in order to avoid the scoffs and censure
of the ladies at Bath. But, though the hope of hearing from the darling
of my soul supported my spirits a little while, I began to be very
uneasy, when, at the end of several weeks I found that expectation
disappointed. In short, melancholy and despondence took possession of my
soul; and, repining at that providence which, by acting the stepmother
towards me, kept me from the fruition of my wishes, I determined, in a
fit of despair, to risk all I had at the gaming table, with a view of
acquiring a fortune sufficient to render me independent for life; or of
plunging myself into such a state of misery, as would effectually crush
every ambitious hope that now tortured my imagination.

Actuated by this fatal resolution, I engaged in play, and, after
some turns of fortune found myself, at the end of three days, worth a
thousand pounds; but it was not my intention to stop there, for which
cause I kept Strap ignorant of my success, and continued my career until
I was reduced to five guineas, which I would have hazarded also, had
I not been ashamed to fall from a bet of two hundred pounds to such a
petty sum.

Having thus executed my scheme, I went home, amazed to find myself so
much at ease, and informed my friend Strap of my mischance with such
calmness, that he, imagining I joked, affected to receive the tidings
with great equanimity. But both he and I found ourselves mistaken very
soon. I had misinterpreted my own stupidity into deliberate resignation,
and he had reason to believe me in earnest when he saw me next morning
agitated with the most violent despair, which he endeavoured to
alleviate with all the consolation in his power.

In one of my lucid intervals, however, I charged him to take a place in
the stage coach for London; and, in the meantime, paid my debts in Bath,
which amounted to thirty shillings only. Without taking leave of my
friends, I embarked, Strap having the good fortune to find a